Breakfast in bed

In a healthy marriage there is no dictatorship. There may very well be areas of expertise, but the say is equal which means, 50/50, no controlling interest. I wanted to put an offer on a house yesterday. It met most of our criteria and nh wanted to look some more. For me, it was very frustrating.

I retreated into myself and got all over the kids - classic transference. "You're grumpy," dg4 said. "Because you aren't listening," I said. But really, I wanted 100% decision making power. I wanted dictatorship, but with a twist. I wanted nh's 100% agreement. We are a marriage, a team, companions. It was impossible to have both. It is a problem without a solution for me. The angst, the incredible all consuming angst!!!!! Man was it a tough day. My bride noticed.

This morning I awoke to a smell. My tummy wanted it to be a waffles smell. Nh makes very good waffles. But it wasn't a waffle smell. It was an eggs, toast and milk smell and it was brought to me in bed; consolation for a tough day. I confessed my feelings of the previous day to nh, my sorrow that they overtook me; a peace offering. I appreciated her gesture. I hope she appreciated mine; though really there is no apology, no honesty, like not doing the wrong thing twice.