Night & Delerium

Near the end of last night's leg I stopped for gas. Wg3 woke up and said, "Excuse me. Excuse me." "Yes, wg3." "Did you wake my bwain up?" "No we didn't. Go back to sleep buddy."

When we arrived at the hotel I went to check in. While I was away dg5 began to laugh in the back seat. Nh looked to see what was so funny, but he was fast asleep. Thank God for sweet dreams.

Just look at the proof!

This morning one of the kids walked by another one of the kids. As child one walked by without any contact with child two, child two dropped a toy turtle.
"He made me drop my turtle!"
"No he didn't."
Holding up both hands; ten fingers outstretched and absent a toy turtle he replied, "Yes he did, see!"
Kids.

You Asked!

This morning FatheredFive asked dg5 if there is anything special he'd like on the last day of his visit. To which dg5 replied, "Yes, brownies," followed by a large smile. Fathered replied, "I was thinking oatmeal or cold cereal."

Thanksgiving, DG5 and being humble

Yesterday for dinner we went to FatheredFive's Sister's house. The house was full of people and not being related I was initially a little uncomfortable. Heck I was a little uncomfortable the whole time really, but everyone including his sister Karen were very welcoming and I had great fun too. It was just hard for me to not feel a little like an intruder despite the kindness of my hosts, which was most excellent. Anyway, blah, blah, blah insecurity this, self-loathing that.

Dg5 seemed to do well, until he had a plate of food. We sat him down and he wanted to move to a table with older kids. I happily accommodated him. I then left to get him a drink and returned to "an incident." For whatever reason he was scared. I didn't understand. I tried to comfort him, but to no avail and after a short while I did exactly the wrong thing.

"If you don't stop crying I'll..." fill in the blank. Very nice, intimidate the kid who doesn't understand why he scared himself. I then moved him to the front porch and let his mother take over. I wasn't the right guy for him right then. His mother moved him to the car where he ate happily and in peace.

I ate and traded off with nh so she could eat. "I'm very disappointed in your behavior," I continued and all the while in my head I'm hearing, "Shut up." and "Leave him be." Which I quickly did. He responded by looking pretty upset for a minute and then very sweetly saying, "Dad, I'm gonna eat and then I'm going right back in there" which he did.

Last night when we got home I felt ashamed and apologized to dg5. He immediately forgave me with a hug and a kiss. We should all be so forgiving.

It is tough to suppress my imperfections sometimes and put others first. I wasn't a rage-aholic, but I clearly behaved incorrectly. I certainly didn't give him what he needed and at the end of the day his needs supersede mine, he's only five.

It is one thing to love someone and another to live with them, small or large. Living with them requires very often that we put the other person first in what may be very difficult circumstances for us. It isn't just civility, we have to dig deep and act in ways that show we love them under whatever circumstances.

I have 18 years of practice and have gotten better, but I don't think it's a process that ever stops. I think when we think we've arrived we're pretty far from where we need to be.

Family Photog pt. 2

Dg5 is a picture taking wild man. He seems less interested in participating than he does in snapping a picture sometimes. This seemed weird to me, until I realized I was doing the same thing at the outdoor venues. Hmmmm. What does it all mean?

The Joker

Cool Daddy DG5 has a great sense of humor as you may guess from the dress up. He asked me if the Joker was a boy or a girl. I said, "A boy." He said, "Why does he have make-up on then?" I wanted to say because he's a demented freak, but instead said, "Because he's a clown and clowns wear make-up." DG5's photo of the Joker.

It's cool here and the boys love it outside

We've had a good vacation here. Tomorrow the Temple at Bountiful and then home. To the Fives, 'preciate ya.

MY Prophet

I came into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints on December 31, 1995. President Gordon Bitner Hinckley was set apart as the 15th President of that same church on March 12, 1995. He was the first Prophet I'd ever known and I came to love and appreciate him and his counsels. I considered him MY Prophet. Below is what might be my favorite quote by him though it is tough to say for I have many.

“Woman is God’s supreme creation. Only after the earth had been formed, after the day had been separated from the night, after the waters had been divided from the land, after vegetation and animal life had been created, and after man had been placed on the earth, was woman created; and only then was the work pronounced complete and good.

“Of all the creations of the Almighty, there is none more beautiful, none more inspiring than a lovely daughter of God who walks in virtue with an understanding of why she should do so, who honors and respects her body as a thing sacred and divine, who cultivates her mind and constantly enlarges the horizon of her understanding, who nurtures her spirit with everlasting truth.”

“God will hold us accountable if we neglect His daughters.”

A letter to my children

As I consider the old story of the war in heaven there is a thought that comes to me, it isn't my thought originally, but it is a right thought I think.

There was a plan in heaven, whereby Man would be free to act. Because Man would inevitably sin or act contrarily to God's wishes they would be imperfect. To redeem Man from his imperfections and allow them, with a body and the experiences of mortality, to return to the presence of a perfect God, a Savior was needed. The Savior would atone for the sins of Man and provide a way whereby Man, if they were faithful, would return and continue to progress and grow in the presence of a loving Heavenly Father. Jesus Christ was that Savior.

Lucifer offered up an alternative plan whereby, through compulsion Man would comply to the commandments and return to God. Deprived of moral agency under Lucifer's plan we would not grow, nor gain the experience necessary to progress with bodies. We would not learn.

In Lucifer's plan we would be acted upon, compelled like slaves to obedience. This is not Heavenly Father's way and Lucifer, embarrassed and humiliated at the rejection of his plan sought to usurp the highest throne. It didn't end well for him, that lost son, Perdition.

It is therefore fundamental that we act, consciously, deliberately, rightly. It is divinely appointed that we should do so. To passively allow our lives to unfold is to squander the great gift of freedom and to deny ourselves happiness and peace. Even as the hardest events of life come our way and we are inevitably acted upon, we can choose our response.

So to you my children, act with all good speed to every good end, seek wise counsel as every one needs it and enjoy the blessings of peace and happiness that are yours by right as children of God. I love each of you very much. I am grateful for each of you.

Irony

Today I yelled at wg3 from across the house, "Be quiet!"

wg3 just needed me today for awhile

Today, wg3 took a nap. After awhile I attempted the same and as I lay down the bed squeaked pretty loudly. wg3 woke up and came over. He'd had an accident so I changed him and he, being not fully awake, cried weakly and softly. After he was dry he crawled into bed with me and didn't sleep. I was whooped and needed a nap, but alas he would not leave. I tried, "You can go outside with the other kids and play" and "Mommy's in the living room so you don't have to be afraid" and when he asked if the "scary Halloween movie" (The Nightmare Before Christmas - which they are not allowed to watch )was on I reassured him that it was not. And yet he wouldn't leave the bed. He even went so far as to lie and say he was still tired to be able to stay with me.

I don't know it was weird. For some reason he just needed me then. So we lay together for awhile, me trying to sleep and failing and wg3 pretending he was tired and failing. It is nice to be needed.

I eventually got my butt up, having got no rest and helped him integrate into the busy household which he did quickly. I don't know, maybe being in a different place just means he needs a little more reassurance.

In truth I did let him down today. There was a play group of 3 year olds about 5 houses away. Maya goes and wg3 said he wanted to go, but only if I checked on him. I said I would, but it was only an hour and I went off after a half hour or so and played racquetball. When I met up with him again he reminded me I hadn't kept my promise. I apologized profusely and agreed that I had failed in my responsibility, but he admitted that he'd had fun and I agreed to abide more strictly by my word in the future. Who knows how much of it he gets, but it was important to him and I believe in treating my little ones with much love and respect. I sure am grateful for the little fellas.

Easy to please

Dg5 naps and as a result sometimes doesn't fall asleep quickly at bedtime. He doesn't need a nap every day, but after a few days it catches up with him and he gets very sensitive, and sometimes very weepy. Tonight we put he and his brother to bed (still at our friends house) late. After a while I went in to check on them, wg3 dead asleep and dg5 wide awake. I asked if he'd like to come out to the living room and read a little to which he replied, "Your the bestest Dad ever" followed by a huge hug and kiss. Let's face it, lying in bed with no recourse must be torture and anyone with a reprieve is likely to be a hero. Still, the hug and kiss felt great.

The family Photog

dg5 is a camera hog. He loves it and he uses the camera we have pretty well. To give you a little perspective, today they went to the Dino Park and dg5 took over 270 of the 290 pictures taken at the Dino Park. Yes, 270. I think he'd photodocument his entire existence if he could. Here are a few, from the little artisan.

Chores

Two of five and I were given the task to gather firewood for tonight's s'more fire. It is cool outside. I think it will be very cold tonight. We filled the back of the Jeep. I'm excited about the whole deal.

It's not a small house, but it's packed.

Generally, 7 people live in this house. It's FatheredFive's house. Our 4 make 11. As I sit, one child is climbing on the banister. There is always one on the banister. One has a ball, it's his ball, no one else can have it or there is screaming. This one is mine. One is on the computer. The Five children are limited to an hour a day, two of five is working through his hour. One is eating a huge bowl of yogurt and one of mine watches. One is hanging on the dog and then down the hall one is practicing the violin.

I commented how small the violin looks. She assures me it is a full size violin. It looks tiny to me. I ask for a lesson before we go. I love to listen to the violin. Last night I heard the violin in some music that was playing. It was beautiful. I love the violin I say. That's the cello Captain Obvious states. Whatever. Isn't a cello just a big violin anyway. Maybe a cello is the size a violin should be.

Fathered is downstairs working, mothered is preparing a frozen lasagna for dinner and nh is idle, relaxing in a lazy boy chair after a busy day at the Dino Park. It is busy here, frenetic. It is good to be with friends. I'm looking forward to the lasagna.

Meet Captain Obvious

Quote of the Day: "It takes a certain amount of athleticism to do athletic things."

Tonight - Reptiles and Smores for Family Home Evening

Tonight we travel to Fathered's Mom's. His brother Owen has beau coup reptiles in the basement. In his words he loves to be surrounded by life. His collection is pretty cool. We promised dg5 he could see them. Then, a fire in the back yard and yes, S'mores. If all goes well we'll paint our faces and dance around the fire ring screaming like injuns. That's just if it goes well. (pics to follow)

"Round is a shape"

I've always hated that quote. Many a true thing are said in jest and all. I'm at a hulking 237 and today I re-entered the racquetball arena. I played well, but differently. I'm no longer a warrior, now I play more like a chief. I placed the ball well, and engaged the enemy as little as possible. When I did engage I realized it was a bad idea and immediately recommitted to let the ball come to me.

Racquetball is a game of patience, not power. You can't tell a young man that. I never could learn it. It has apparently taken a high heart rate on a short effort and tentative knees to teach me. It was great fun. I love the competition.

Wg3 is a lefty. I thought of that on the court today as I served to my friend's non-dominant hand. I hope one day he, dg5 and I will play cutthroat racquetball. I wonder what it will be like against a lefty. If he is as full-throttle then as he is now it should be great fun.

On the drive

wg3 got to choose a special treat for the long drive. wg3 chose Strawberry Whoppers. On the trip he asked for the crunchy balls which we eventually figured was the whoppers. At some point he began to refer to them as whippersnappers. Who can keep up with all of that name changing? It's one thing to get the name wrong, but to still get it wrong and change it from last time??? Aren't there parent child laws against that kind of behavior.

Sunday Morning - The Park

The boys love the dog, Lilly. We're considering buying a dog. They would love one.

The gang's all here, playing in the water and happy to be outdoors ----wg3 with rushes from the stream


Beautiful Maya----------------------------------------- The family at the park

We went to Freedom Hills park this morning with most of our friend's clan. It was beautiful. The boys loved it, we loved it. Fresh air, grass, exercise. I even tried out a skateboard on a short shallow bit of blacktop. I didn't fall; a miracle.

Stage 2- a 4 hr drive, a 10 hr trip

DG5 working with a fossil - Paleontologist in training

Using paintbrushes to carefully uncover the bones of a Utah Raptor

Dino puppets for the kids to pretend. Are they kissing or eating Mommy?

Apparently they used to grow their fish bigger. I think it's Global Warming.

We got some sleep in Beaver, UT, some breakfast and travelled north for a few hours. We arrived at what is purported to be the largest dinosaur museum in the world. The boys loved it; running from one place to another for 4 hrs. We watched a dinosaur movie that nh and wg3 fell asleep through. It was a 3D IMAX movie and dg5 and I enjoyed it. Dg5 insisted that we take pictures of everything. I'm not kidding, I had to ask him to relax. He really wanted pictures of every single object in the museum. After what felt like a long time we left and finished our journey North to Farmington, UT. We have friends here. It is good to see them.

DG5 demonstrates a moment of inspiration @ the Dino Museum

Stage 1 - 10 hrs in

We made 10 of the 14 hours yesterday. It was tough, I went too far. We're clean this morning, fed and clothed. It's 3 hours to the largest Dinosaur museum in the world and then an hour to friends for the week. The boys are excited for the dinosaurs. It's wicked cold for us desert rats.

We are planning to hit the Temple this week. I believe it will be a good week.

wg3 - a list

Likes
Dogs
Cottage cheese- straight from the container
Sponge Bob- he sings the song...& Tom and Jerry
Playing with His Brother
Music- he keeps asking us to play I Can Only Imagine by MercyMe
Dancing- which turns into fighting...he loves anything with a beat
Sugar - all forms (suckers)
Very early mornings

Dislikes
Not bagels, no matter what
No oatmeal
Hates loud noises, though he's doing better

He's a lefty. He's irreverant. He's bold until faced with the real thing. He'll tell you all day long what he'll do to monsters, but he won't go downstairs in broad daylight by himself. He's three after all, I guess he's allowed some contradictions.

A syllogism

People have beliefs.
People act.
All people act according to their beliefs.

The other day a man said something that was a new thought for me regarding Christ. He said-ish, "Some people are inactive in the church and some people are active and still others consecrate themselves to God."

It never occurred to me to think that my actions may be only those of an active man. I have not always fulfilled my duties and yet I have been blessed. However, I believe the greatest blessings are outstanding and they are predicated on my faithfulness, on a change of heart. And I believe they are not my blessings alone, but blessings for my family hang in the balance as well. It is my job to strengthen them. I love my family very much and am grateful for the time I have been given.

I consider the bar raised. I will reach higher.

My Father-in-Law

Quite frankly I think my Father-in-Law can be hilarious. It wasn't always that way. Maybe it was me, I don't know, but the first 8 or so years we were married I felt a little like I wasn't in yet, part of the family.

I remember the time when that changed, though I don't remember exactly when it was. I sat down and he just started talking to me, shooting the breeze if you will. It felt different. Now it's like I've been part of the family forever when we're together, which I appreciate because I really do think he's funny.

Dreaming

I don't dream much, or don't remember when I do. I've had several lately though.

I give a good deal of thought to my dreams because I've often had a profound sense of de ja vu, as if I dreamed a thing that happened.

This week I dreamt of a guy I work with, a good soul. We were outside a roadhouse and he had a boat trailer parked in the spot closest to the entrance. The boat trailer had a personalized license plate on it spelling out his last name. I saw him go up the steps to the entrance and called out to him. He said something surly and went in. I don't remember more.

My second dream was violent. I mean violent. I abhor violence, the more graphic the worse it is. I don't find it funny or entertaining, take that Quentin Tarantino! I'm not perfect, I resort to violence occasionally in aberrant thoughts, but in my heart I realize it isn't healthy or productive.

I also dreamt I was in heaven. I did not wake up afraid. I didn't feel content either. The only word that comes to mind is fat, like bloated, a feeling of pressure from the inside out, almost like a balloon, except in a feeling. Upon further reflection my previous bouts of de ja vu and the dream together produced some anxiety in me. I don't want to leave my wife and kids. I believe I may yet have something to offer them and they are a great joy to me. As I pondered the dream I felt like maybe God had other work for me to do. It is an interesting feeling. In the end I trust that God knows best and I am still here so until that changes it's steady as she goes.

Laryngitis

My little sister lost her voice this week. As a result she speaks only in whispers. Now her two little ones are speaking in whispers also. I've got to try that.

I spy with my little eye...

On the long drive to Grandma and Grandpa H's we often play 'I Spy' with the boys to prevent anarchy. Dg5 gets it. I spy something "green" or "red" and then we guess until we get it. Wg3 however does not get it.

When it is wg3's turn he invariably says, "I spy with my little eye, um, a green tree."
"Is it a green tree," we ask?
"Yep!"

There are variants of course. "I spy with my little eye, um, a blue sky" or "a red stoplight." He just doesn't get that we're supposed to be guessing the thing he's telling us. Cute little fella.

I feel sorry for him when he's guessing though. He has a hard time getting in a word edgewise and he will get frustrated quickly. When he does guess he repeats most of what's already been said so sometimes I'll do something hard and take him by the hand so he can guess. He so much wants to be part of everything we do. What a sweet boy.

Per your requests- The house in pictures