Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Mom

On February 10, 2012 @ 5:55 am Mom passed.  Her husband of 21 years was with her, as was her mother and her Aunt Pauline.  She had a short bout with Cancer.  The doctors called it Adenocarcinoma NOS (not otherwise specified).  Dr. D explained the cancer was "wild and fast."  Wild because it was spreading everywhere and fast because the tumors/lesions were fast growing. 

We visited at Thanksgiving.  She was having some pain then between her shoulder blades and hips.  A scan identified serious deterioration in C5, C6, and C7 between her shoulder blades.  She had torn her meniscus in her left knee and thought the pain in her hip was from compensating for the bum knee.  It wasn't from compensating.  The cancer was deteriorating the hip closest to the spine she just didn't know that yet.  It was a good visit.  She and Steve took us and the kids to the Imagination Station and we all had fun.  She got to see her GM1 toddling around and generally being very demanding.

On Dec 8th the doc told my Mother that if she were 80 he'd tell her to go home and enjoy the rest of her life, but since she was 61 and healthy it would be worth an attempt at treatment.  At first she was very matter of fact about it all.  "I'm dying," she said.  I think Steve talked her into trying treatment.  She did.  The chemo was a shot in the dark because they couldn't type the cancer, they couldn't determine the origin.  As such, they weren't sure which chemo cocktail might be effective.

She lost her hair and the pain meds put her down for much of the time.  In the end, not only did the cancer spread, but the existing tumors grew.  It was only a matter of time then.

The Monday before I arrived she felt a great presssure in her chest.  It scared her.  She asked her husband to get her Mother and Sister next door.  She told Steve to call the kids.  She went to the hospital to stay.

In the beginning there was talk of getting her home, but her pain management required close attention and pills were not an option.  I arrived late Tuesday and showed up at the hospital on Wednesday morning about 10:30.  When she saw me she said, "My son."  The only time I saw her cry was very shortly after that.  It seemed a cry of sorrow.  It was very brief and it was with Steve very close.  She was strong about her prognosis.

That day over 30 people came to visit her in the hospital.  Though she kept saying they had just given her meds and she was probably going to sleep she only dozed about 40 minutes between my arrival that morning and 5:30 that night.  She was funny and consoling.  She comforted as much as she was comforted.  Grandma said, "She needed that."  I agree.  It was good for her.  What we learned though was that she wasn't pushing her pain pump so she would be awake for her company.  It took some time after that to get her pain back under control.  Dr. D chided her the next day and asked that she pare back the company so she could rest.  That Wednesday was her best day.

A big number

Today WG6 went to his first soccer practice.  At practice he got his jersey, a sporty bright green thing with the number 34 on the back.  When WG6 saw the number he exclaimed, "How many people are on my team?"