Dreaming

I don't dream much, or don't remember when I do. I've had several lately though.

I give a good deal of thought to my dreams because I've often had a profound sense of de ja vu, as if I dreamed a thing that happened.

This week I dreamt of a guy I work with, a good soul. We were outside a roadhouse and he had a boat trailer parked in the spot closest to the entrance. The boat trailer had a personalized license plate on it spelling out his last name. I saw him go up the steps to the entrance and called out to him. He said something surly and went in. I don't remember more.

My second dream was violent. I mean violent. I abhor violence, the more graphic the worse it is. I don't find it funny or entertaining, take that Quentin Tarantino! I'm not perfect, I resort to violence occasionally in aberrant thoughts, but in my heart I realize it isn't healthy or productive.

I also dreamt I was in heaven. I did not wake up afraid. I didn't feel content either. The only word that comes to mind is fat, like bloated, a feeling of pressure from the inside out, almost like a balloon, except in a feeling. Upon further reflection my previous bouts of de ja vu and the dream together produced some anxiety in me. I don't want to leave my wife and kids. I believe I may yet have something to offer them and they are a great joy to me. As I pondered the dream I felt like maybe God had other work for me to do. It is an interesting feeling. In the end I trust that God knows best and I am still here so until that changes it's steady as she goes.