Saturday, February 28, 2009
Home Alone
The fam is in New York and I am here alone. Though I suddenly have more focus, I have no more motivation. It's odd really. At times I want a little peace and quiet, but I'd give it up forever right now to see nh and the kids. It is a hard thing to appreciate them when they're here I think. I have to try harder.
An Elder's Quorum Activity
3 couples showed up, we ate and it was fun. The Bisel's introduced us to this ping-pong insanity.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Basketball
Tonight my lungs burned as I gasped for air. Man am I far gone.
In the first five seconds I was on the court I got shoved and fell down. My body would not obey, my limbs were heavy and sluggish. I fell down like an old, decrepit man and banged my elbow. I immediately thought it might be a sign.
When I walked onto the court the score was 18 to 13. When I walked off at half-time the score was 18 to 32. I tried to convince myself it didn't have anything to do with me, but my first two passes were intercepted and after that I didn't get the ball much. Actually, it was kind of like we were playing with four guys instead of five. I enjoyed the exercise and tried to play up the illusion that I was foiling the other teams plans instead of my teams plans. I don't think it came off well.
After the game the guys were talking about practicing. They went on for awhile about how the defense moves and adjusts, about how the offense moves and adjusts. I'll admit, I didn't get a lot of it. I guess I'm down for practicing.
All I'm going to say is that is what they get if they are going to invite anyone out and say it's just for fun. I did have fun though I want to get better for their sakes. We got whooped by 50 points. Embarrassing.
In the first five seconds I was on the court I got shoved and fell down. My body would not obey, my limbs were heavy and sluggish. I fell down like an old, decrepit man and banged my elbow. I immediately thought it might be a sign.
When I walked onto the court the score was 18 to 13. When I walked off at half-time the score was 18 to 32. I tried to convince myself it didn't have anything to do with me, but my first two passes were intercepted and after that I didn't get the ball much. Actually, it was kind of like we were playing with four guys instead of five. I enjoyed the exercise and tried to play up the illusion that I was foiling the other teams plans instead of my teams plans. I don't think it came off well.
After the game the guys were talking about practicing. They went on for awhile about how the defense moves and adjusts, about how the offense moves and adjusts. I'll admit, I didn't get a lot of it. I guess I'm down for practicing.
All I'm going to say is that is what they get if they are going to invite anyone out and say it's just for fun. I did have fun though I want to get better for their sakes. We got whooped by 50 points. Embarrassing.
A Portrait of Someone Else
Tonight a guy with nothing, but a student loan bought a couch from us. I delivered it because he doesn't even own a bike for transportation. Then I offered to help him move it in the house. As it turned out, Roscoe and I spent a lot of time together. Let me tell you what I know.
Roscoe is an injured Jarhead. No details, just an honorably discharged veteran. I asked what he did and he didn't want to talk about it. I asked where he did it and he didn't want to talk about it. Roscoe has two Chinese symbols tattooed, one on each arm. On his right arm is the Chinese character for snake, the name his comrades called him. On his left arm is a symbol to the memory of the fallen soldiers with whom he served. Roscoe is tall, maybe six-two and lanky. His gait is awkward, he moves prepubescently.
Roscoe used to live with a teacher and her husband. Roscoe has no family and he "holes" up wherever he can. The teacher who took a shine to him would take him to school everyday. It was a nice arrangement, but not a permanent one. Enter Lucy.
Roscoe rents two rooms from Lucy. It all began when Lucy got robbed. When you enter Lucy's house there is a room. In the room is a futon and behind the futon is a baby Grand piano. As I think about it now they must have built the house around it, we struggled just to get in a stupid couch. To the left of the baby Grand is an upright and a little further on is an electronic keyboard. There is a very distinct Asian feel to the decorating. I see a picture, it must be Lucy, she is Asian and playing at a Baby Grand. Roscoe says she is about 100 lbs. soaking wet. Lucy teaches music and has for the past 13 years. Lucy isn't home yet.
Roscoe met Lucy through an old roommate. They met on a hike near the Grand Canyon. Their mutual friend proposed to his love on that hike. It was beautiful Roscoe tells me. Two months later his friend sat and wrote lots of letters to lots of people and then blew his brains out. "It brought us all closer together, but especially Lucy and I." Roscoe repeats often that they have become good friends.
He likes music. A fringe benefit of living with a pianist is a nightly concert he says. He loves to hear her play. I see pictures in a frame, Lucy in the middle at the piano, and all around her are smaller pictures of her students at the same piano. Somebody has written Recital 2008 in the bottom corner of Lucy's picture. There must be 20 students, they're all women, many young, some middle aged.
We took off doors and the couch would not fit through a single door in the entire house. We took the feet off the couch, no luck and come to find out his door was too small to fit the couch in. We lifted the couch over the fence...twice. Finally, we completely dismantled a window.
In Roscoe's room is a high end flat panel t.v. with high end speakers and a computer he put together - high end. There is no bed in sight. As we take apart the window we find screws that have been painted over. Roscoe disappears into a very small closet and pulls out a small lime green backpack. From a plastic sheath he pulls out a large knife. "I don't usually take Janie out around strangers" he says. He peels away the paint, he pries away at the window. We lift in the couch which is clearly too big for the little room. No problem he says, he'll make it work. "I've got to get this back together before Lucy gets home and freaks out," he reminds me.
He and Lucy don't watch t.v., they just rent movies, they sit in the little room together and watch movies.
Roscoe paints and fixes things up. Roscoe cooks. He likes to cook. He takes care of the meals. He pays $400.00 a month for two rooms and he paints. "When Lucy got broken into she was scared. She called me because I'm the scariest cuddly guy she knows."
It will take time. He knows it, to earn his degree in material science; probably about another 8 years. He lives off of grant money and a little income as a math tutor at the college. He tutors up to trig. He doesn't need much. Apparently the material science guys start at $67,500 a year right out of college and he doesn't need much to live on, so he'll be able to save most of it.
I left at 10:45pm, almost an hour and a half after I got there. The couch was in, though every door needed put back on and the window needed completely reassembled. I never did meet Lucy. I liked Roscoe. He seemed nice enough, but in the back of my mind somewhere I wondered if Lucy was there all along, in the backyard, taking a dirt nap.
Roscoe is an injured Jarhead. No details, just an honorably discharged veteran. I asked what he did and he didn't want to talk about it. I asked where he did it and he didn't want to talk about it. Roscoe has two Chinese symbols tattooed, one on each arm. On his right arm is the Chinese character for snake, the name his comrades called him. On his left arm is a symbol to the memory of the fallen soldiers with whom he served. Roscoe is tall, maybe six-two and lanky. His gait is awkward, he moves prepubescently.
Roscoe used to live with a teacher and her husband. Roscoe has no family and he "holes" up wherever he can. The teacher who took a shine to him would take him to school everyday. It was a nice arrangement, but not a permanent one. Enter Lucy.
Roscoe rents two rooms from Lucy. It all began when Lucy got robbed. When you enter Lucy's house there is a room. In the room is a futon and behind the futon is a baby Grand piano. As I think about it now they must have built the house around it, we struggled just to get in a stupid couch. To the left of the baby Grand is an upright and a little further on is an electronic keyboard. There is a very distinct Asian feel to the decorating. I see a picture, it must be Lucy, she is Asian and playing at a Baby Grand. Roscoe says she is about 100 lbs. soaking wet. Lucy teaches music and has for the past 13 years. Lucy isn't home yet.
Roscoe met Lucy through an old roommate. They met on a hike near the Grand Canyon. Their mutual friend proposed to his love on that hike. It was beautiful Roscoe tells me. Two months later his friend sat and wrote lots of letters to lots of people and then blew his brains out. "It brought us all closer together, but especially Lucy and I." Roscoe repeats often that they have become good friends.
He likes music. A fringe benefit of living with a pianist is a nightly concert he says. He loves to hear her play. I see pictures in a frame, Lucy in the middle at the piano, and all around her are smaller pictures of her students at the same piano. Somebody has written Recital 2008 in the bottom corner of Lucy's picture. There must be 20 students, they're all women, many young, some middle aged.
I sat on the couch, the cushions off and stared out at the starry Arizona night sky. Roscoe sat on the porch smoking and flicking his ashes into the yard. "It's beautiful," I say. "Yeah, sometimes we have a small fire here in this fire ring and we just kick back." He turns his head towards the driveway out front, "I think she's here." For a minute it sounds like maybe someone is, but it isn't anyone.
In Roscoe's room is a high end flat panel t.v. with high end speakers and a computer he put together - high end. There is no bed in sight. As we take apart the window we find screws that have been painted over. Roscoe disappears into a very small closet and pulls out a small lime green backpack. From a plastic sheath he pulls out a large knife. "I don't usually take Janie out around strangers" he says. He peels away the paint, he pries away at the window. We lift in the couch which is clearly too big for the little room. No problem he says, he'll make it work. "I've got to get this back together before Lucy gets home and freaks out," he reminds me.
He and Lucy don't watch t.v., they just rent movies, they sit in the little room together and watch movies.
Roscoe paints and fixes things up. Roscoe cooks. He likes to cook. He takes care of the meals. He pays $400.00 a month for two rooms and he paints. "When Lucy got broken into she was scared. She called me because I'm the scariest cuddly guy she knows."
It will take time. He knows it, to earn his degree in material science; probably about another 8 years. He lives off of grant money and a little income as a math tutor at the college. He tutors up to trig. He doesn't need much. Apparently the material science guys start at $67,500 a year right out of college and he doesn't need much to live on, so he'll be able to save most of it.
I left at 10:45pm, almost an hour and a half after I got there. The couch was in, though every door needed put back on and the window needed completely reassembled. I never did meet Lucy. I liked Roscoe. He seemed nice enough, but in the back of my mind somewhere I wondered if Lucy was there all along, in the backyard, taking a dirt nap.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Coincedence? I think not
The other day J-dog was helping me put some items on Craig's List. When you enter the item it randomly pulls up words for you to type in to verify that a human being is actually doing it instead of a bot. The words that came up?
Remember Clarence
Clarence Bay was J-dog's Grandfather. He passed away recently. I felt the spirit was there with us. Coincedence? I think not.
Remember Clarence
Clarence Bay was J-dog's Grandfather. He passed away recently. I felt the spirit was there with us. Coincedence? I think not.
What do you think marriage is?
Ever since the vote for marriage petition process began I've been thinking about marriage. I believe marriage is ordained of God. I believe it's between a man and a woman. For me that's it.
But today I heard some blow hard on talk radio saying a lot of things that make sense, until he got to his definition of marriage, which he explained is for the birthing of children. In his entire 10 minute rant he only stuttered when making a point about the definition of marriage. It seems like you could have children without marriage and heck, people do all of the time.
I don't think marriage is just about the birthing of children. That's part of it, but I can't help but think it's something more. I haven't heard or thought of a non-religious definition that makes me weak in the knees. I have some ideas of my own though I don't think I could define it well, but if you are reading this then I'm reaching out to you. What do you think, is there a good non-religious definition?
But today I heard some blow hard on talk radio saying a lot of things that make sense, until he got to his definition of marriage, which he explained is for the birthing of children. In his entire 10 minute rant he only stuttered when making a point about the definition of marriage. It seems like you could have children without marriage and heck, people do all of the time.
I don't think marriage is just about the birthing of children. That's part of it, but I can't help but think it's something more. I haven't heard or thought of a non-religious definition that makes me weak in the knees. I have some ideas of my own though I don't think I could define it well, but if you are reading this then I'm reaching out to you. What do you think, is there a good non-religious definition?
I think that's right
“I shall pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”
Mahatma Gandhi
Thursday, February 19, 2009
An incident and a spanking
dg5 does very little to warrant physical application, but tonight he scraped a pencil down his brother's face because wg3 knocked his flip-flop off of his foot. dg5 came precariously close to wg3's eye. Not cool.
I hate spanking the kids. I hate it, but I have gotten very good at not doing it in anger. I feel like a dolt when I can't think of other ways to motivate them. Being a parent is ridiculously difficult.
Two smacks, hand on butt. Who even knows if that works?
I hate spanking the kids. I hate it, but I have gotten very good at not doing it in anger. I feel like a dolt when I can't think of other ways to motivate them. Being a parent is ridiculously difficult.
Two smacks, hand on butt. Who even knows if that works?
Pray and do
It seems everywhere I turn folks have very big challenges. I cannot compare my life and not acknowledge God blesses us more I'm sure than I even imagine.
Tonight we had Cam over for dinner. It's been several weeks. Cam is losing her sight. I told her if she called the Southern Arizona Association for the Visually Impaired and began to take classes I'd make sure she gets there. She needs encouraged. I think denial has dominated her life. She has begun very late to prepare. Depression, anger, hopelessness have beset her I think. She hasn't known what to do. I hate the feelings she must be feeling. I told her if she tries to be self-reliant I'll do what ever I can to help.
It will be difficult I think. She's withered at only 62, body, mind and spirit. When she's with us she cheers up. She asked to pray with us tonight. She wanted to listen as we read the kids books. She ate 3 ice cream sandwhiches. 3.
She is struggling with a lot of decisions. It costs her 3 grand a month to live in her place and it costs her mother 4 grand a month to stay in the assisted living facility she's in. The money they have it running out and they get no state assistance until they have only $2,000 left. When they have only $2,000 left they have to wait 45 days to be placed by the state; which means the $2,000 they have left won't last the 45 days they have to wait. It's retarded. She thinks she'll have to sell her house. She offered to give us some of her furniture tonight - which made me feel oddly that I should be the offeree of a vulnerable person.
I asked her how long she had before she must make a decision. She says 60 days. I asked who determines her fate. She said a state counsellor. The counsellor says she has to take courses at SAAVI. She has to win the counsellor over before anything will really change. Here's hoping she can progress quickly.
If she can muster the will, I'm hoping we can get her living on her own, learning to live blind. After 62 years with sight it will be one helluva change. Pray and do; there will have to be plenty of both I think.
Tonight we had Cam over for dinner. It's been several weeks. Cam is losing her sight. I told her if she called the Southern Arizona Association for the Visually Impaired and began to take classes I'd make sure she gets there. She needs encouraged. I think denial has dominated her life. She has begun very late to prepare. Depression, anger, hopelessness have beset her I think. She hasn't known what to do. I hate the feelings she must be feeling. I told her if she tries to be self-reliant I'll do what ever I can to help.
It will be difficult I think. She's withered at only 62, body, mind and spirit. When she's with us she cheers up. She asked to pray with us tonight. She wanted to listen as we read the kids books. She ate 3 ice cream sandwhiches. 3.
She is struggling with a lot of decisions. It costs her 3 grand a month to live in her place and it costs her mother 4 grand a month to stay in the assisted living facility she's in. The money they have it running out and they get no state assistance until they have only $2,000 left. When they have only $2,000 left they have to wait 45 days to be placed by the state; which means the $2,000 they have left won't last the 45 days they have to wait. It's retarded. She thinks she'll have to sell her house. She offered to give us some of her furniture tonight - which made me feel oddly that I should be the offeree of a vulnerable person.
I asked her how long she had before she must make a decision. She says 60 days. I asked who determines her fate. She said a state counsellor. The counsellor says she has to take courses at SAAVI. She has to win the counsellor over before anything will really change. Here's hoping she can progress quickly.
If she can muster the will, I'm hoping we can get her living on her own, learning to live blind. After 62 years with sight it will be one helluva change. Pray and do; there will have to be plenty of both I think.
How many days in a row can he wear it? I mean really.
wg3 has taken to wearing dg5's Spiderman costume everyday. Because wg3 is wearing it dg5 wants it. Our direction to him has been to wait until wg3 is finished.
How many days in a row can he wear it? I mean really.
How many days in a row can he wear it? I mean really.
Thanks KM18!
In a few weeks time
The boys have completed week 3 of soccer. No more crying, just a lot of kicking. It's a good thing.
wg3 called his coach a "dummy head" today because when they handed out the jersey's he wanted number three and the coach was trying to give him number 1. dg5 got number 5 and I think wg3 thought your number was supposed to be your age. The coach was trying to give him number 1. I mean who doesn't want to be number 1? Apparently wg3. He got number 2 and after some encouragement felt good about it I think.
We made him apologize so he took two steps towards his coach, who was 40 feet away and said he was sorry. "I don't think so pal. You go over, shake his hand and say you're sorry." He glanced at the coach, looked back at us and said, "I need someone to go over there with me." Mom accompanied him.
It's amazing how far they've come in a few weeks time.
wg3 called his coach a "dummy head" today because when they handed out the jersey's he wanted number three and the coach was trying to give him number 1. dg5 got number 5 and I think wg3 thought your number was supposed to be your age. The coach was trying to give him number 1. I mean who doesn't want to be number 1? Apparently wg3. He got number 2 and after some encouragement felt good about it I think.
We made him apologize so he took two steps towards his coach, who was 40 feet away and said he was sorry. "I don't think so pal. You go over, shake his hand and say you're sorry." He glanced at the coach, looked back at us and said, "I need someone to go over there with me." Mom accompanied him.
It's amazing how far they've come in a few weeks time.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Firedrake
We are nearing the end of Firedrake. We read it regularly as a family. wg3 very often asks, "One moe chaptu Dad?" Honestly, I don't think he's interested in the story at all, not like his Mom and brother; really he's looking to stay up late, but it's cute to hear him say it anyway.
Ping Pong Maw Maw
Tonight after dinner I invited Dad to play some Ping Pong. He declined. I tried again and he declined again. I tried a third time and he deferred to Maw Maw. So I went with it and I asked Maw Maw. Well Maw Maw was up for it and we played three games. The more we played the better she got. She hasn't played in years, but she's still got it. I'm relieved they had to run!
Writing
This week dg5 worked out some spelling on his own. Some of the words???
sat
bat
mat
fat
And today he spelled scat at the table. Not a good table word if you ask me, but hey, it's signs of intelligent life!
sat
bat
mat
fat
And today he spelled scat at the table. Not a good table word if you ask me, but hey, it's signs of intelligent life!
Karate means "empty hand"
Friday night the boys dressed up in their outfits we got them from China. They thought it would inspire their Karate moves. They're always asking, "Dad, do you want to see my Karate moves?"
We used their enthusiasm as a springboard and had a movie night - The Karate Kid. I lay down with a boy under each arm, pillows and a warm blanket and relived the eighties.
When we were done, way past the boys bedtimes, wg3's first words were, "Can we watch it again?"
Interestingly, during the movie wg3 kept wanting to rewind to the "girl parts." "She'll be on again," I said. Apparently Elizabeth Shue is his type.
We used their enthusiasm as a springboard and had a movie night - The Karate Kid. I lay down with a boy under each arm, pillows and a warm blanket and relived the eighties.
When we were done, way past the boys bedtimes, wg3's first words were, "Can we watch it again?"
Interestingly, during the movie wg3 kept wanting to rewind to the "girl parts." "She'll be on again," I said. Apparently Elizabeth Shue is his type.
Sibling Rivlary
Soccer went better for both boys this week.
Tonight we were discussing it at the table with Maw Maw and Paw Paw.
First wg3 was asked how his game went.
"Lizzie scored a goal." "Did you like it," Paw Paw asked? "Yeah, it was good."
"And Dg5, how did your soccer go?" "It's good."
"Dg5 scored a goal in soccer practice," says I. "Yeah, and wg3 didn't score any," says dg5.
I give him a look. "Hey pal, that's not nice. We encourage each other in this house."
He gives me a look that I interpret as, "Okay, I see you don't like it, I get it, but it's true." "Sorry," he says.
Indeed.
I'm happy they're adjusting well to soccer. It should be great fun for many years.
Tonight we were discussing it at the table with Maw Maw and Paw Paw.
First wg3 was asked how his game went.
"Lizzie scored a goal." "Did you like it," Paw Paw asked? "Yeah, it was good."
"And Dg5, how did your soccer go?" "It's good."
"Dg5 scored a goal in soccer practice," says I. "Yeah, and wg3 didn't score any," says dg5.
I give him a look. "Hey pal, that's not nice. We encourage each other in this house."
He gives me a look that I interpret as, "Okay, I see you don't like it, I get it, but it's true." "Sorry," he says.
Indeed.
I'm happy they're adjusting well to soccer. It should be great fun for many years.
Big Fat Baby
Today on the way home from church we were discussing wg3's size at birth. 11lbs. 5oz. I told him he was the biggest baby anybody remembers in our family. I told him nurses came from all over the hospital to see him because he was so big. I told him he had a big fat head and big fat cheeks. He had big fat arms, big fat legs and a big fat belly.
dg5 chimes in, "I remember that. Did anybody come from all over the hospital to see me?" ***an innocent conversation turns into a fast car on a hairpin turn***
Fortunately wg3 chimed in with a question. "Dad?" "Yes." "Um. Dad did I have big fat boobies like you?" It wasn't the salvation I was looking for, but it served it's purpose. "That's it, you're gonna get it when we get home pal," I tell him. Both boys giggle.
I really have to do something about my weight. I guess I was just thinking I'd wait until after the holidays, but maybe 11 months is too long to wait to start.
dg5 chimes in, "I remember that. Did anybody come from all over the hospital to see me?" ***an innocent conversation turns into a fast car on a hairpin turn***
Fortunately wg3 chimed in with a question. "Dad?" "Yes." "Um. Dad did I have big fat boobies like you?" It wasn't the salvation I was looking for, but it served it's purpose. "That's it, you're gonna get it when we get home pal," I tell him. Both boys giggle.
I really have to do something about my weight. I guess I was just thinking I'd wait until after the holidays, but maybe 11 months is too long to wait to start.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
The Economy Stinks
The 800+ Billion dollar stimulus package passed the Senate today so I guess it's a done deal. I hope it's less of a debacle than the last stimulus package. We did our part to stimulate the economy and bought furniture 50% off.
At Fast and Testimony meeting two Sunday's ago in San Diego an Area Authority shared something from the First Presidency. They said if we will pay a full tithe, a generous fast offering and do our Visiting and Home Teaching that we will weather this economic difficulty.
That's good to know. I've been anxious about work lately. Things feel very dim, I don't want to be a lay-off, but I am in the building products industry. We've been told that housing starts are below depression era numbers and there are 3 times as many people today.
I'm grateful to have prophets, seers, and revelators today. The programs are simple, it just usually our execution that stinks.
At Fast and Testimony meeting two Sunday's ago in San Diego an Area Authority shared something from the First Presidency. They said if we will pay a full tithe, a generous fast offering and do our Visiting and Home Teaching that we will weather this economic difficulty.
That's good to know. I've been anxious about work lately. Things feel very dim, I don't want to be a lay-off, but I am in the building products industry. We've been told that housing starts are below depression era numbers and there are 3 times as many people today.
I'm grateful to have prophets, seers, and revelators today. The programs are simple, it just usually our execution that stinks.
A visitor
We have Grandma Brown staying with us this week. Truth be known, I love the old bird. She can't hear a friggin thing, she's blind in one eye and can't see out of the other, but she's full of spunk and I like that about her most of all.
The boys love her too, although dg5 complained once that she had bad breath. wg3 especially hangs near her. When we eat he sits beside her, when we watch t.v. he sits beside her, when we read scriptures he sits beside her. If wg3 had his way he'd be in her lap.
It amazes me, there is a 90 year gap between them and yet they're fast friends. Last night wg3 got up and went into her room and wanted to sleep in her bed. "I had a bad dream," he said. But gently she explained that she had to sleep in her bed and so he had to sleep in his. Obediently he left her room and promptly walked to ours and curled up on the floor. What a kid.
The boys love her too, although dg5 complained once that she had bad breath. wg3 especially hangs near her. When we eat he sits beside her, when we watch t.v. he sits beside her, when we read scriptures he sits beside her. If wg3 had his way he'd be in her lap.
It amazes me, there is a 90 year gap between them and yet they're fast friends. Last night wg3 got up and went into her room and wanted to sleep in her bed. "I had a bad dream," he said. But gently she explained that she had to sleep in her bed and so he had to sleep in his. Obediently he left her room and promptly walked to ours and curled up on the floor. What a kid.
Fatigue
I went to the Dr. today for chronic fatigue. As I sat there waiting for him to come into the room I busied myself anticipating questions he might ask me when it hit me. I'm never not tired. I'm preoccupied with things, I'm busy, but I could lay down anywhere and take a nap.
It sneaks up on you, over time, gradually. Then one day you realize the quality of your life is a struggle to maintain, that you haven't read a book in awhile, that your discretionary time is less and less, that mustering the energy to do anything valuable, anything other than veg out is more than you care to muster. It's insidious really.
So he sent me for X-rays, blood work and a sleep study. I've heard they put wires all over you and ask you to sleep. Honestly, I don't think I'll have a problem.
It sneaks up on you, over time, gradually. Then one day you realize the quality of your life is a struggle to maintain, that you haven't read a book in awhile, that your discretionary time is less and less, that mustering the energy to do anything valuable, anything other than veg out is more than you care to muster. It's insidious really.
So he sent me for X-rays, blood work and a sleep study. I've heard they put wires all over you and ask you to sleep. Honestly, I don't think I'll have a problem.
A cheap movie ?????
On Tuesdays they have one dollar movies so nh and I took the kids and Grandma Brown to see Madagascar2. I love the penguins, they make me laugh hard. The whole shebang cost $5...until we walked out of the theater.
American Home Furnishings is closing it's Tucson stores. We bought a longer dining room table and a couch for $2733.45.
That brings the cheap movie to $2738.45.
American Home Furnishings is closing it's Tucson stores. We bought a longer dining room table and a couch for $2733.45.
That brings the cheap movie to $2738.45.
Am I a blessing to my wife?
It's a question I ask myself recently. I want to be a blessing to her.
Today as I was driving I was listening to the Diane Ream show on NPR. Diane Ream is like one-thousand years old or something, but her program is very interesting.
Today they were talking about relationships of folks who are marrying late because they're widowers or something. Like somebodies 70 year old mother was getting married.
Two ideas bugged me. One was the comment that many of these late age married folks claim they have NEVER had a better relationship. A discussion of the reasons why might be intriguing, but I couldn't get past the feeling that I want my Beloved to feel that way about the marriage she's in, not after I'm dead with some other husband.
Secondly, a woman wrote in to say that after 35 years of marriage her husband still loves her, but she does not love him, what could she do? Ugggghhh. What a nightmare. I don't want that either. I want my wife to have a happy fulfilling life, but I'll admit I'm not a blessing as much as I could be, not by a long shot.
Dr. Kevin Lehman wrote a book called "Sex Begins in the Kitchen." Weird, I know. But the idea is that there are many things you can do to improve your spouses health and well-being and it starts with taking out the trash, or doing the dishes, or whatever you can do to take the burden off of her, to carry the load in what should be an equal partnership. We men should do extra stuff, special stuff too, but getting in the trenches is the best way to show your spouse you're committed to her, that you love her, that you really care for her well being. I think that's right.
I want to be a good husband. I don't want my wife to not love me after 35 years of marriage. I think the primary issue was put like this today by Diane's guest. As we experience life changes such as job changes, home changes, kids, or maybe even illness that it changes us as people. And the spouse we're married to today isn't that same one we married 10 years ago, and we're not the same either. So in a sense we find ourselves in several different marriages over one relationship. We have to adapt, adjust, reset our course and move fluidly as the needs of our partner and our own needs change.
I'll admit, kids have rocked me oddly. I love them very much. I look forward to seeing them everyday, to hearing from them, to being together, but I have not managed the most important relationship in my family life soundly. I feel after some thought I'm neglecting the person I love the most, even though she doesn't say it. I think for us all I have to try harder. I love my wife and I want to be the blessing to her that I find she is to me.
Today as I was driving I was listening to the Diane Ream show on NPR. Diane Ream is like one-thousand years old or something, but her program is very interesting.
Today they were talking about relationships of folks who are marrying late because they're widowers or something. Like somebodies 70 year old mother was getting married.
Two ideas bugged me. One was the comment that many of these late age married folks claim they have NEVER had a better relationship. A discussion of the reasons why might be intriguing, but I couldn't get past the feeling that I want my Beloved to feel that way about the marriage she's in, not after I'm dead with some other husband.
Secondly, a woman wrote in to say that after 35 years of marriage her husband still loves her, but she does not love him, what could she do? Ugggghhh. What a nightmare. I don't want that either. I want my wife to have a happy fulfilling life, but I'll admit I'm not a blessing as much as I could be, not by a long shot.
Dr. Kevin Lehman wrote a book called "Sex Begins in the Kitchen." Weird, I know. But the idea is that there are many things you can do to improve your spouses health and well-being and it starts with taking out the trash, or doing the dishes, or whatever you can do to take the burden off of her, to carry the load in what should be an equal partnership. We men should do extra stuff, special stuff too, but getting in the trenches is the best way to show your spouse you're committed to her, that you love her, that you really care for her well being. I think that's right.
I want to be a good husband. I don't want my wife to not love me after 35 years of marriage. I think the primary issue was put like this today by Diane's guest. As we experience life changes such as job changes, home changes, kids, or maybe even illness that it changes us as people. And the spouse we're married to today isn't that same one we married 10 years ago, and we're not the same either. So in a sense we find ourselves in several different marriages over one relationship. We have to adapt, adjust, reset our course and move fluidly as the needs of our partner and our own needs change.
I'll admit, kids have rocked me oddly. I love them very much. I look forward to seeing them everyday, to hearing from them, to being together, but I have not managed the most important relationship in my family life soundly. I feel after some thought I'm neglecting the person I love the most, even though she doesn't say it. I think for us all I have to try harder. I love my wife and I want to be the blessing to her that I find she is to me.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Competitive Spirit
At soccer practice wg3 did well. He played follow the leader nicely, he mostly obeyed instructions, he practiced his falling down and getting up quickly with a real art. Then the coach did something I thought was pretty ingenious, he tricked them into playing soccer and this is where wg3 checked out.
The game was put the Easter eggs in the basket. The Easter eggs were soccer balls and the basket were the goals. Every kid had a ball and off they went. At first wg3 was a little bewildered and then he got it, but he didn't like one of the rules - you can take the ball away from anyone you want. He was neither inclined to steal the balls and didn't really look as though he appreciated it when the ball was stolen from him either. So as the coach slowly removed balls from the field wg3 decided he didn't like all the fighting over balls and went to climb a tree.
Eventually there was only one ball on the field and the kids were playing something that looked very much like soccer and they didn't even know it. Bravo coach! I was impressed. Wg3 was completely disinterested.
As we left coach asked wg3, "Did you like the games we played today wg3?"
"I'm not playing anymore of your games!"
"Didn't you have fun?"
"I hate your games," and he never even looked back nor broke stride.
Interestingly wg3 says he still wants to play soccer. And now I'm clued in that he has absolutely no idea was soccer is. I love wg3. What a random, spirited little dude.
The game was put the Easter eggs in the basket. The Easter eggs were soccer balls and the basket were the goals. Every kid had a ball and off they went. At first wg3 was a little bewildered and then he got it, but he didn't like one of the rules - you can take the ball away from anyone you want. He was neither inclined to steal the balls and didn't really look as though he appreciated it when the ball was stolen from him either. So as the coach slowly removed balls from the field wg3 decided he didn't like all the fighting over balls and went to climb a tree.
Eventually there was only one ball on the field and the kids were playing something that looked very much like soccer and they didn't even know it. Bravo coach! I was impressed. Wg3 was completely disinterested.
As we left coach asked wg3, "Did you like the games we played today wg3?"
"I'm not playing anymore of your games!"
"Didn't you have fun?"
"I hate your games," and he never even looked back nor broke stride.
Interestingly wg3 says he still wants to play soccer. And now I'm clued in that he has absolutely no idea was soccer is. I love wg3. What a random, spirited little dude.
I'm cowboy
Each morning when I rise for work I am greeted by wg3. He sits on the floor of the bathroom as I shower, he picks out the pants, I pick out the shirt, he picks out the orange, I pick out the yogurt. We're a team and he's very helpful. I very much enjoy our time together each morning.
Part of our routine is that I sit down and he crawls into my lap. I hug him and tell him I love him, that I'm grateful Heavenly Father sent him to our family, that he's a good boy. To this of late he unequivocally responds, "I'm not a boy. I'm a cowboy!" I always accept the correction with surprise and apology. He's adopted this persona since his Uncle JG gave him the boots his older three cousins had handed down.
Tonight at his soccer practice, yes he's three and yes he's in soccer, the coach had everyone say their names. The coach is a friend of ours and he knows wg3's name, but for the benefit of the others asked him to say it. I was a little way off, but still within ear shot when coach got to him. "What," the coach asks? Something unintelligible. "I thought your name was wg3," says the coach. "I'm cowboy," I hear. A look from the coach, "He answers to both," says I and the day went on. We've really got to find him a cowboy hat.
Part of our routine is that I sit down and he crawls into my lap. I hug him and tell him I love him, that I'm grateful Heavenly Father sent him to our family, that he's a good boy. To this of late he unequivocally responds, "I'm not a boy. I'm a cowboy!" I always accept the correction with surprise and apology. He's adopted this persona since his Uncle JG gave him the boots his older three cousins had handed down.
Tonight at his soccer practice, yes he's three and yes he's in soccer, the coach had everyone say their names. The coach is a friend of ours and he knows wg3's name, but for the benefit of the others asked him to say it. I was a little way off, but still within ear shot when coach got to him. "What," the coach asks? Something unintelligible. "I thought your name was wg3," says the coach. "I'm cowboy," I hear. A look from the coach, "He answers to both," says I and the day went on. We've really got to find him a cowboy hat.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
It pains a father's heart
Today we took dg5 to soccer practice. It's really his first time in an organized sport; if you can call trying to get 5 year olds to work collectively organized sports. He does pretty well early on, but then the substitute coach was trying to teach him and he just kinda shut down. I could see it, his body language was closed, his participation level went to nearly zero and then they broke for water. He came to me and I told him he was doing great and to get a drink. He got a drink, came back to me and didn't make it back on the field.
He cried a little, he was scared he said. I asked him what he was scared about and he said, "All of the kids." There were some that could kick it over his head. I asked if he was afraid they would eat him. He said, "No" and threw some grass at me. I asked if one had a Raptor claw on their foot and he said, "No" and threw some more grass at me. It wasn't working and I thought he needed some time so I left him with his mom and wg3 and I walked over by dg5's new teammates and watched the practice.
This happened before during our vacation in Utah. It was weird, he closed up, upset and way internalized and then later you never knew it happened.
When we got home I took off his shoes and socks for him and we went upstairs and I washed his face with a cool rag. I told him he didn't have to play, that I loved him no matter what. I told him next week I'd be on the field near him in case he had any questions. He seems okay with that and ready to get back on the field. Then we played some chess and I think we both forgot about it.
All in all I think it works together for his good, but I suspect it puts lines on my face. Who wants to see their kids struggling to contain their emotions, obviously upset, but trying? I really think it will be easier for him next week. He warms up to things. Here's hoping.
He cried a little, he was scared he said. I asked him what he was scared about and he said, "All of the kids." There were some that could kick it over his head. I asked if he was afraid they would eat him. He said, "No" and threw some grass at me. I asked if one had a Raptor claw on their foot and he said, "No" and threw some more grass at me. It wasn't working and I thought he needed some time so I left him with his mom and wg3 and I walked over by dg5's new teammates and watched the practice.
This happened before during our vacation in Utah. It was weird, he closed up, upset and way internalized and then later you never knew it happened.
When we got home I took off his shoes and socks for him and we went upstairs and I washed his face with a cool rag. I told him he didn't have to play, that I loved him no matter what. I told him next week I'd be on the field near him in case he had any questions. He seems okay with that and ready to get back on the field. Then we played some chess and I think we both forgot about it.
All in all I think it works together for his good, but I suspect it puts lines on my face. Who wants to see their kids struggling to contain their emotions, obviously upset, but trying? I really think it will be easier for him next week. He warms up to things. Here's hoping.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Taking advantage of his younger brother
dg5 and wg3 fight over who gets the mail, a favorite activity of their mother's. One day dg5 got wise.
"Wg3, I'll make you a deal. I'll get the mail and you get the paper okay?"
"Okay."
The paper only comes once a week.
"Wg3, I'll make you a deal. I'll get the mail and you get the paper okay?"
"Okay."
The paper only comes once a week.
The things he says
dg5 says some of the most grown up, sweet stuff I've ever heard. exempli gratia:
"What was your favorite thing you did today pal?"
"Spend time with Mom."
or
"What was your favorite thing about our San Diego trip boys?"
wg3 says, "The birthday party!"
"And you dg5?"
"cl8's baptism."
"Not the birthday party?"
"No."
"Wg3, did you like the baptism?"
"I hated the baptism." What are you gonna do, he's three.
or on the funny side...
Out of the blue, "Fire in the hole," followed abruptly by a fart sound he makes with his mouth.
"What was your favorite thing you did today pal?"
"Spend time with Mom."
or
"What was your favorite thing about our San Diego trip boys?"
wg3 says, "The birthday party!"
"And you dg5?"
"cl8's baptism."
"Not the birthday party?"
"No."
"Wg3, did you like the baptism?"
"I hated the baptism." What are you gonna do, he's three.
or on the funny side...
Out of the blue, "Fire in the hole," followed abruptly by a fart sound he makes with his mouth.
Can you lick your elbow?
I eat two packets of oatmeal each morning for breakfast during the work week. I eat them at work. When I heat up the water in a company coffee cup our Janitor always says, "Why don't you try that coffee a little stronger." He knows I'm LDS and I don't drink coffee because I gave him a Book of Mormon once. He isn't malicious, but he never forgets that same old joke.
On the packets of oatmeal are interesting facts (or not as you will see) and sometimes corny riddles. Oatmeal packet information is perfect for me, simple and silly, it's really about all I can handle. This morning the packet cried out to me, "Human beings cannot lick their elbows." Hmmm, I thought and I stored the information away.
Tonight we had the good fortune to have KM18 come for Family Home Evening. She did a craft with the boys which was very cool as they idolize that chickita, we had dinner courtesy of nh (thank you very much), and yummy cookies of wg3's choice since he was responsible for the treat. All of the eating was followed by a lesson courtesy of nh, a song courtesy of us all and a prayer by that ornery wg3.
Wg3 was upset barely spoke what could pass for a prayer because he wanted a Mormon Battalion flag I revoked so he would pay attention. He showed me though. Someone should write a book, How to Outsmart Your Three Year Old and Help Him Behave!!! I sure don't know how to do it.
After the prayer came a challenge. It was from me to the group and it came with a prize, one I wasn't planning on paying out, but now I have to as you will see. This is how it went down.
"I will give anyone who can lick their elbow the biggest toy they want." The licking commenced. wg3 was out very quickly. I don't think he came within a foot of his elbow. I can't say that I did either. As for that KM18 wasn't even close either. nh was by far the closest adult, but as for that not even close. And then there is dg5.
I remember when he was 3 he saw me snapping my fingers. I showed him how I did it and for weeks he went around trying to get those blasted fingers to snap. He never got frustrated and though the attempt was not continuous he never tired of it and would randomly go after it again. Before long he was a finger snapping wild man. I was impressed that he could do it at his uncoordinated age, but I was more impressed at his approach.
When the elbow licking commenced there was dg5, not giving up, not frustrated, but the closer he came the harder he tried. I'll say this, the kid has an unnaturally long tongue. His mouth had to go dry on him. He was so close, but I wouldn't give it to him, no, he actually had to lick the elbow. We were busting up at the little fellow. And then a weird thing happened, they said it couldn't happen, but then it did. That munchkin turned his right arm counterclockwise, palm up, pressing the back of his hand against the floor and he licked his elbow perfectly. We erupted with congratulations and laughter and he glowed.
His toy of choice? "A super cool dragon!"
I tried to barter down, "I'll tell you what, I'll let you play the car video game for an hour if you want." "Okay," says he and then a pause and then, "No way." Easy come, easy go. I'm considering a letter and picture to Quaker Oatmeal asking for restitution for whatever it's gonna cost me.
The one downside is that wg3 couldn't do it and when he realized he wasn't going to get a full-sized motorcycle he was very discouraged and went into another room. I was pretty sad about that. His mother went in to comfort him, bless her heart and after a time he came out declaring, "Whoever can lick their hand gets a toy!" He mastered the hand licking very nicely, but I had to explain that the deal was that he must lick his elbow.
In the end we saved it with cookies all around as a consolation prize for those of us who couldn't figure out how to lick our elbows. That seemed to do the trick and even the elbow licker partook.
It was a good night and we were glad to have km18 with us.
On the packets of oatmeal are interesting facts (or not as you will see) and sometimes corny riddles. Oatmeal packet information is perfect for me, simple and silly, it's really about all I can handle. This morning the packet cried out to me, "Human beings cannot lick their elbows." Hmmm, I thought and I stored the information away.
Tonight we had the good fortune to have KM18 come for Family Home Evening. She did a craft with the boys which was very cool as they idolize that chickita, we had dinner courtesy of nh (thank you very much), and yummy cookies of wg3's choice since he was responsible for the treat. All of the eating was followed by a lesson courtesy of nh, a song courtesy of us all and a prayer by that ornery wg3.
Wg3 was upset barely spoke what could pass for a prayer because he wanted a Mormon Battalion flag I revoked so he would pay attention. He showed me though. Someone should write a book, How to Outsmart Your Three Year Old and Help Him Behave!!! I sure don't know how to do it.
After the prayer came a challenge. It was from me to the group and it came with a prize, one I wasn't planning on paying out, but now I have to as you will see. This is how it went down.
"I will give anyone who can lick their elbow the biggest toy they want." The licking commenced. wg3 was out very quickly. I don't think he came within a foot of his elbow. I can't say that I did either. As for that KM18 wasn't even close either. nh was by far the closest adult, but as for that not even close. And then there is dg5.
I remember when he was 3 he saw me snapping my fingers. I showed him how I did it and for weeks he went around trying to get those blasted fingers to snap. He never got frustrated and though the attempt was not continuous he never tired of it and would randomly go after it again. Before long he was a finger snapping wild man. I was impressed that he could do it at his uncoordinated age, but I was more impressed at his approach.
When the elbow licking commenced there was dg5, not giving up, not frustrated, but the closer he came the harder he tried. I'll say this, the kid has an unnaturally long tongue. His mouth had to go dry on him. He was so close, but I wouldn't give it to him, no, he actually had to lick the elbow. We were busting up at the little fellow. And then a weird thing happened, they said it couldn't happen, but then it did. That munchkin turned his right arm counterclockwise, palm up, pressing the back of his hand against the floor and he licked his elbow perfectly. We erupted with congratulations and laughter and he glowed.
His toy of choice? "A super cool dragon!"I tried to barter down, "I'll tell you what, I'll let you play the car video game for an hour if you want." "Okay," says he and then a pause and then, "No way." Easy come, easy go. I'm considering a letter and picture to Quaker Oatmeal asking for restitution for whatever it's gonna cost me.
The one downside is that wg3 couldn't do it and when he realized he wasn't going to get a full-sized motorcycle he was very discouraged and went into another room. I was pretty sad about that. His mother went in to comfort him, bless her heart and after a time he came out declaring, "Whoever can lick their hand gets a toy!" He mastered the hand licking very nicely, but I had to explain that the deal was that he must lick his elbow.In the end we saved it with cookies all around as a consolation prize for those of us who couldn't figure out how to lick our elbows. That seemed to do the trick and even the elbow licker partook.
It was a good night and we were glad to have km18 with us.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)