Uncles

Today Uncle Jd pushed dg4 over backwards while doing whatever it is that uncles do with nephews. dg4 fell over and smacked his head on the tile. He cried so hard he threw up and I felt the knot right on the top of his head. All I can say is Grrrrr. I mean Grrrrr.

I too am an uncle. I've wrestled and hurt nieces and nephews. Heck I broke my sister-in-law Ah's finger (or at least it's crooked), I broke a blood vessel in AA's hand (that was pretty disgusting), and I put my bride's very good friend Annalisa in a leg brace for 6 months when I kicked her leg out from under her on the trampoline (ouch). I've hurt a few people horsing around. In fact, my father-in-law provides this maxim to all who attempt the venture, "If you play with gm you get hurt." Not a reputation I appreciate. I'm happy to say there have been no injuries for some time.

Uncle's can be cool or not. dg4's uncle Jg taught him to surf a little. I have a series of pictures of it and it is one of my favorite pic series. Jg is going to teach him to fish for the first time next week. Jg bought him the pole for Christmas - very sweet. Jg also torments them, not physically, but with words. For instance, we stayed at their house a while back and dg4 wanted me to check on him while he fell asleep and jg told him I wasn't going to check on him. dg4 cried. He is mostly a great guy, but can be mean to the kids sometimes and who the heck knows why.

When I was a kid my uncles would hold me down and perform "Big Time Wrestling" moves on me. The figure four was painful. There was the "El Garfio" and the "Claw." They pretty routinely made me cry. I don't remember anybody doing anything about it, but I lived. I was the same kind of jerk to my step-brother. Somebody should have smacked me.

Anyway, I'm going to talk to uncle jd. Not meanly or threateningly because I don't think he's a bad guy, but when you wrestle with little kids you have to go 1/2 as hard as you think is soft enough. If there are enough of the little monkeys it's hard enough to protect their heads as they bum rush you. I hope uncle jd takes my council in the spirit in which it is intended, but nevertheless it needs saying and I intend to have the talk.