Philosophy

"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." - Oscar Wilde

I think the approach we take to decision-making in life matters. First though, you have to have an approach, a personal philosophy. Km17 wrote about hope in her blog. What a nice piece to put in your philosophical pie. I think hope is right on. A farmer doesn't plant seeds thinking they won't grow does he?

Even in times of tragedy, unexpected horrible somethings, we can feel a sense of peace. This sense of peace can bring us strength and strength can carry us through, but it will not come without the practice and discipline of guideposts, like hope, in our philosophy as we Marshall on.

I do believe the last half of what Wilde says, that getting what we want can be tragic also. It's because people think they know what they want and think they'll know just what to do when they get it. Maybe it's a trophy wife, with no other substance, or the lottery and no money management skills at all, or fame with all it's trappings (I hear, since I've never actually had anything you might call fame.)

For me, my principle guidepost is that I want to be a good man. I have an idea of what that means and I can come back to it, or an idea of it. It isn't perfect, but it's enough, a north star if you will. A path that gets refined as I grow older and gain experience.

I try to think about it from the perspective of others as well. Stephen Covey's idea of it suits me, "Begin with the end in mind." What would I want people to say at my funeral? I'd want X, Y and Z said. Okay, great, now how do I have to behave to make that happen? It's really pretty straight forward, but I'll admit the execution is sometimes wanting.

So for me, today, central to my decision-making is that I want to be a good man. At one time it was a writer, then a husband, a father, a good son, a good priesthood holder, etc... But today, I think a good man covers it. I don't know what Km17's north star is, but I hope she has one, or an idea of one.

We got km a ring for graduation. On it I inscribed "peace and happiness." It's my wish for her. As her own philisophical guideposts cement, I hope she will look at it often and let that inscription be a guidepost to her through rough seas as well as calm ones.