I like this girl...I hope you do too ( A young Julianne?)

Tireful

Today after kindergarten I asked dg5 what was his favorite part of kindergarten. He said, "The ice cream." "You got ice cream after school," I said, "What about during school?" "I don't know," he said. Hmmmm.

Everyone called to see how his day went. When his sister called he noted that the day was, "tireful." His mother thought this was cute and kept using it. I explained that he'd never get out of kindergarten if she didn't stop.

Dg5 told his mother he was playing in the sandbox and that the other kids kept running through a watch he was making for Lizzy out of the sand. None of the kids would play with him he said. His mom said just to introduce himself and ask if the kids wanted to play. He said it makes him nervous. It's time to learn some coping skills little man. Maybe they'll be the most important things you learn in school. Dear Heavenly Father, please bless him that those skills may come quickly.

I overheard dg5 talking to PaPa YD. dg5 was asked if he learned anything. dg5 said, "I learned one thing," a pause, "I learned how to kiss my brain." Who knows where he gets that from?

The Future Paleontologist

This morning dg5 starts his formal education. For some reason I feel the need to document everything, like he ate dinosaur oatmeal for breakfast and he wore a T-rex shirt his first day. We leave in a few minutes. We'll take pictures and generally help him to feel the sense of excitement one should feel as they begin a new adventure, as they begin an education. I'm grateful we live in a country where dg5 can easily get an education.

A Father's Blessing

Tomorrow dg5 begins his formal education. A series of events have led us to this day, I guess starting all the way back with his birth. He's grown and he's a beautiful, bright, brilliant boy.

Tonight dg5's Mother put him to work packing his lunch. For his first day he's chosen a plain bagel with strawberry cream cheese, a Danimals crushable strawberry yogurt, a water, strawberries and a butterscotch pudding for desert. I hope all of that is brain food.

In his class are Lizzy (Lizard), Briant, Spencer, and Benjamin. He knows them all. They are our neighbors. We attend church with their families. During his kindergarten orientation we got to see his class; there is a playground (kindergarten only) just outside his door. The orientation was nice and I think it broke the ice. He's excited about school.

Nh and I disagreed about the bus. Dg5 wanted to ride the bus, but I didn't want him to ride. I figured, his mom is home, she should take him until he's bigger. I rode the bus. There are bullies on every bus. I know, I was one of the bullies. At orientation Briant's family heard of our quandary, offered a ride since they had an extra seat anyway. It is a nice solution to our problem.

Her older children will walk him to class and after school they will get him to their car. He will receive a dollar on his first day for the ice cream man after school.

In the end I've suffered more over his impending school than he. I feel that the beginning of school is the beginning of a routine and a scheduling madness that turns one day into a week, one week into a month and one month into a season and a season in to a year. In my heart I'm already sending him on his mission. At once I love that he'll start school and that we'll be able to share in that experience, it's that inevitable sign that he will grow and move on. Right now I'm not ready for that experience. It really is illogical, but it's real.

Every year before school Naomi's father would use the preisthood with which he is entrusted to give each child a Father's blessing. Tonight I blessed both our boys in preparation for school. It's not lost on me however, who has blessed who.

Grrrr

Tonight wg3, almost 4!, pooped in the tub. What?! Grrrr. I mean Grrrr. Kids can have too much fun.

Punishment

I was talking to Paw Paw tonight and the boys were destroying a mat their mother has for aerobics. "Quit it," I said. But it didn't stop.

After I got off the phone I was miffed and very politely put the boys in the corner in timeout. Nose in the corner, no touching or leaning, hands at the sides. Paw Paw used to do this with me and I loathed it. After their release dg5 speaks.

"Dad, thanks."
"What for?"
"Putting me in timeout. I deserved it."
I was speechless. What do you say, "You're welcome." Whose kid is this anyway? He's a good kid.

Those were good times

Tonight dg5 and I were reading one of his books.

"I remember when you guys bought me this book."
"You do?"
"Yeah. I couldn't even pick it up off the shelf." It's a dinosaur encyclopedia.
"How do you remember that?"
"I just do. I was like 3 or 4. Those were good times." !!!
"Really. Are these good times?"
"Yeah, but not as good."
"Why not?"
"We didn't have to work as much then."

Family Night

Tonight we went swimming as a family. It was great fun. Nh and dg went off to do an obstacle course and a slide while wg and I goofed off and chased each other.

After a while I got out and wg entertained himself while dg and Nh continued to play elsewhere. I was amazed that our blue lipped beauty continued to play and entertain himself for so long. Other kids jostled him, hit him and he couldn't have cared less. I wanted to throttle some of the bigger kids.

I stood on the edge with a smile while he played. My heart quickened as he ventured into deep waters. The water just over his chin, kids splashing and flopping and screaming, but every time he would work his was to better water, that same blue lipped grin on his face. I admired that. I thought the fear would grip him since he can't swim, but it didn't. He soldiered on.

Wg is a great kid, except when he yells at his brother that he hates him. Wg doesn't have a host of coping skills yet so we try to explain why that isn't cool. And just when we think we're getting somewhere dg takes the torture to a whole new level and wg lashes out and hurts him and I say, "See that's what you get, quit teasing him." Revenge. Oh yes, don't teach them that's okay. "Wg it isn't okay to hurt other people."
"But Dad he called me Doodie head!" The travesty! The inhumanity! What are you gonna do?

It was a fun evening, thanks Nh for good times.

Dg5, what a ham!

Today dg5 called me "Dude."
I said, "Don't call me dude, dude."
And he said, "What am I supposed to call you Steve?"

You're definitely not ugly.

Today we were at the checkout counter at Target. The boys were riled up. Wg3 looked right at the cashier and said, "Your ugly!" Grrrr. I whipped him around, hoping she was oblivious to the insult and teased, "No your ugly!" and quickly wrestled him away and out the door.

Outside I gave him a serious tongue lashing. I was ticked. I know he's only three, but I also know he knows that saying someone is ugly is mean. I was very upset.

The weird thing is that Wg3 is a people person, very affable. As we walked out of the restaurant after dinner he said very adultishly to the people dining on the patio, "Are you folks havin' a good dinner?" I don't think they heard him and I don't think he stopped to hear the answer, but just a little evidence that he is a very genial fellow.

A little later at the Supermarket I broke off from the pack and did some tactical shopping. When I got back wg3 rushed to tell me he had told the man behind us that he "is definitely not ugly." What are you gonna do, he's trying.

"Dad, don't! It's poison!"

This one makes me laugh.

I took the boys geocaching for the first time today. However, we went out into the desert mid-day and when we got back we were all hot. So I took them upstairs to wet down their little heads and prevent a brain fry. As we got into the bathroom I grabbed a spray bottle and called wg3, "Come over here buddy."

"Dad, don't! It's poison!"
"What? What's poison?" I thought nh had gone crazy and put a cleaner in there where the boys could reach it.
"That bottle. Dg5 peed in it and I squeezed bleach wipes in there."
"Dg5, did you pee in this?"
"No." But clearly he was lying.
"Why would you pee in this bottle?"
"I don't know."
"Ah, so then you did pee in it!"
"Yes. Sorry." Sorry? "I barely got any in it though." Some consolation.
"Dg5. I don't care that you peed in it, though I don't want you to do it again, but don't lie to me son. Okay?"
"Okay." It's poison...that makes me laugh.

It's just a piece of flagstone

I'm laying flagstone down on the grass in front of the garden so NH has a path to walk along with our wearing a path in the grass. I cut away the sod, remove the grass and place the perfectly fit flagstone in the hole. Occasionally, I have to take a 4lbs. sledge and a chisel and remove small chunks. The sprinklers came on, so I resigned my commission, but left the sledge where I would pick up next day.

We had friends over and their kids and our kids were running in the sprinklers. When I left I never gave it a second thought that they might find my sledge. Well, they did.

I think it was wg3 first. He began to pound away at the piece freshly laid. I was upstairs and the other children's mother was outside with the kids. It wasn't long and her daughter joined in the fun, both the same age - 3. Dg5 is said to have taken a swipe, but without breaking anything. As the other children's mother said, "Hey, I don't think you guys should be doing that," dg5 responded, "No, it's okay, my Dad doesn't care." What???

I handled it all very reasonably. I walked out with wg3 and said, "Do you think I laid this flagstone here so you could destroy it with my hammer?"

"Yes." Did he really say yes????

"Actually wg3, no, no I didn't. What should your punishment be?"

"Time out would be good."

"That doesn't seem like enough."

"Okay, some time out and a soft swat on the bottom." Don't be so hard on yourself I think sarcastically. I can't make myself punish him even though it seems right to me that I should.

"Wg3. I'm not going to punish you, but DO NOT even think about doing it again, and you're gonna clean this mess up pal. Deal?"

"Deal." Cute kid.

We scored a goal

I've been feeling pretty crummy for the kids I coach. My expectations weren't high, just please Lord let them score a goal. Well, finally the curse is broken. We scored. I felt relieved.

Many of the kids are coming back for the summer session of soccer. I'll get to coach them again and I'm glad because they're great kids. The next goal??? How about a win? Here's hoping and yes I know we're not keeping score, but try to tell the kids not to keep score.

When we got in the van after the game I offered high excitement about our goal.
"But we got killed," dg5 said!
"I know son, one thing at a time. We scored."

Lord thanks for the score. It would mean a lot to the kids if they could win. Can we get some help with that too?

Pills

I haven't taken my pill for awhile now. It's for anti-anxiety. Well, wouldn't you guess, my emotions are a little out of control. They are hard to control anyway and at times I feel very overwhelmed. I'm feeling very sensitive.

I hate the idea that I need a magic pill, that somehow I'm broken. I feel broken.

Tonight consumption begins again. I've contained my feelings pretty well with a lot of vigilance, but I don't think it can last. Better I'm broken than my family.

Drilled

When we practice the kids like to play against the parents at the end. It's fun. One of the kids' brother comes and we let him play if he walks. He' probably 8 or 9. Well yesterday he booted one and drilled dg5 right in the face. It was hard to see.

I comforted him briefly, but the physical pain wasn't the hardest part for him and he didn't return without much coaxing. What was really hard was all of the attention everyone paid him or that he perceived they were paying him. He spoke of being "nervous" in his throat. I'd like to get him back in the saddle, but if his problem is anxiety what the heck do you do about that?

We're going to keep plugging along like a good family and hope either it goes away or God grants me the wisdom to help him through. He's such a brilliant, wonderful boy and it WAS a wicked hard shot to the mug.

A day at the beach

Can you have plumber's crack at 5?

So we spent a day at the beach. Grandma Brown got the boys a set of beach toys. We made castles, then we made castles close to the tide to see if they would withstand the inrushing water. They didn't. At some point during the day, I think during the castle making, dg5 said, "Dad, this is the best day ever." It was a pretty good day. Near the end wg3 asked to be buried in the sand and his brother quickly joined in. Sweet boys, that's what they are, just sweet boys.

Peeing in the Ocean

I'm not against peeing in the ocean. I think it's okay. I don't remember any time when I've done it, but I'm sure I have. So when wg3 said he had to pee at the beach I told him to just go in the ocean.

"No. You're just kidding," he coyly says.

"No, really, go ahead. It's okay."

So off he went. A moment later I realized my mistake as wg3 marched calf deep into the water and dropped trow. I cried out to him and he stopped. We pulled up his pants and waded in waist deep. "Okay, now you can go."

Look, peeing in the ocean isn't an elegant solution it's convenient, but with a little discretion it can be done. Wg3 just didn't get the discretion part.

Reboot

I've dreamed dark dreams tonight. One and I wake up. I shake it off, sleep, another and I wake up. I remember at least 5 of them in my first three hours of sleep.

I wake up and I get up after the last one. It's 1:13 and I am awake and I hear the t.v. on downstairs. We didn't leave the t.v. on though. I check on dg5 because he is alone. wg3 has long since been in our bedroom. I head downstairs. The television is off. I check the doors and turn on some outside lights. Trying to break the nightmare cycle I turn on the t.v. It's between COPS and YoYo Ma and the Silk Road Ensemble. Part of me wants COPS, but thinks it will do very little to assuage my nightmares. I choose YoYo Ma - who is not a woman by the way.

For the last hour I hear instruments new to me from around the world; Iran, China, India and an Argentinian woman in stretch pants suffering what looks like an epileptic gyration while she plays something that looks like a bagpipe. In my opinion the greatest instrument of all is the human voice, which they showcase beautifully.

It's over an hour now and I'm tired. I wonder if a father can will the nightmares of his children to come to him. I hope they sleep well and dream well. I go in again now and who knows. Maybe that dark man will come to me again, maybe I will dream of my grandparents, or maybe I will, in that misty place, find my children again and my soul can rest peacefully too.

Team Lydick

I was resigned to the fact that we would do grass next year and then... it happened. Someone from Craigslist took all of the landscaping rock out of our backyard and did a great job. After all, 20 ton of rock is an Arizonan's idea of landscaping, but as a transplant I reserve the right to mix it up.

After that it was high gear. Put in the trenches, put in the irrigation, till the ground, mix in the nitrolized wood products, sulfur and phosphorus, roll the soil, lay the sod. It writes out in a few lines, but plays out as a series of very long, tiring days. It requires the whole Lydick family - a little thing we like to call Team Lydick around here.

It all starts with power tools. What boy doesn't love the rumble of big power tools?

Tree removal is a family affair. What would Treebeard think?

Show me a trench and I'll show you a boy who can't, can't, can't stay out of it. I love these boys.

Contrary to popular opinion there was no manure in it. Oh and elephants do have the largest poops, like anybody really needs to know that. It's no wonder wg3 dumped about a pound of fertilizer out of his little shoes.

By the sweat of my brow, till it, roll it.

Yes, it's dark. The truck rolled in around 7:20 pm. It was start then or wait until 5am the next morning. I started. The good people in these four photos are blessings unlooked for. My neighbor does landscapes for a living. He's been walking me through the mine field. Thank God for his advice. Little did I know that when he saw the delivery and realized I was doing it alone that he would recruit his whole family to help. Jim, Angela, Sophia, and Ben. Good folks everyone. In the bottom right is Louis. Louis is my home teacher. He was planning on 5 am, but when nh told him the grass was here he came right over. I feel so lucky to have such good, kind people to help us. The lawn looks great and I am watering it like I don't live in Arizona hoping it will take root. We've done what we can, now grow grass grow.

The Team Lydick member behind the camera did more than anyone. She kept going, preparing, doing, de-rocking, digging her poor wrist into oblivion while I was at work. Why should I be so lucky to have such a wife? We did it for the boys. We hope they will enjoy it for many years to come.

Too much Star Wars

Someone has to lose

The things a sister does

Allergies

I think we over medicate dg5 for his allergies. The only way to get it exactly right is to wait until it's too late. What do we do? Medicate what seems like every night. nh and I bicker about it because I don't like it, but in the end what the heck to I know?

Nh delivered cookies tonight to families she visit teaches. The lady's kids really wanted nh to come in so she and wg3 did. They have cats. Wouldn't you know, wg3 is allergic. He looked awful, though he was fully himself. A bath and benadryl helped. Here he is after he improved.

The Power of Television

wg3 routinely gives thanks during family prayers for the electricity to our television. He used to be indifferent to t.v. It would be on and he would just go off and play. Now, he's glued. We try very hard to limit his intake, but I'd say if it's in his prayers it also coded in his root directory. Maybe we should throw the stupid t.v. away.

Nightmares

Two nights ago nh experienced a nightmare.
"How bad could it be," I said?
"You died of a heart attack."
"Oh. Yeah, that's pretty bad." I started working out again today.

Last night dg5 had a nightmare and came into our room.
"Can I sleep in here?"
"Sure," and I set him up on the floor.
At 3:45am I hear screaming, it's dg5.
"What? What is it?"
"I had a bad dream." Sobs.
"I'm sorry. Come here buddy." After a small reprieve, "What did you dream about?"
Every time I touched him he jumped, I mean he was spooked.
"We were in our car and there was a ghost sound in the back and it was coming up to the front."
"Well I'm sorry you're scared."
"Can I sleep there," pointing betwixt his mother and I.
"No, because if you do you're the only one that will get any sleep."
"I don't want to sleep on the floor anymore." He was still jumping if I touched him.
"Okay, little man. I'll sleep on the floor and you take my spot, okay?"
"Yeah. Sure."
"We're not going to make a habit of this little dude."
"Okay."
"Goodnight dg5, I love you."
"Love you Dad."
Hello floor, I hate you.

Fathers and Sons Camp Out 2009

wg3 very much wanted to go this year. I firmly believe his words were designed to cause me as much pain as possible and it was very difficult to leave him. But he's very energetic and I want him were I can see him because of the water, the fire and the snakes. And so dg5 and I went off together with promises of a camp out in 2010 that would include us all. It was all pretty quiet, which is fine with me. But there was one fishing story.

I am trying to teach dg5 to fish. Last year at a stocked fishing event he won a Sponge Bob pole. It was a crappy pole and after only a few hours it gave up the ghost. In the beginning though the water was churning with fish. We had two problems, too much slack in our line and a slow response time to set the hook. Essentially, we were feeding the fish.

My instructions???? "When the bobber drops yank your pole back over your head to set the hook...and don't hit me." When I think about it the don't hit me part is pretty stupid. I just tried to stay close enough to help, but far enough away to have time to duck.

Four other Fathers and their Sons were there a day early with us and while we were fishing and having no luck another Father close by called over to us, "Hey Lydick, do you want to let your son reel this fish in?" After a quick glance at each other we walked their way and dg5 did exactly as he was instructed, the bobber dropped and he yanked. If I had told him there is no need to yank after the hook is set the fish would not have exited the water in a wide arc over everyone's head and landed in the forest. It didn't matter to him, it was just as exciting as anything else.

What is it about boys and fire?

Dg5 cut his finger pulling up Switch Grass and sulked for a little while by the campfire. The smores brough him out of the stupor he was in.

Friends and the lake, does it get better when you're a kid?

It was a cold morning. It might even have been as low as 50 degrees F.

Early in the morning

"I love Father and Son Camp Out"