I love my wife. I think of her very often throughout every day. When we met she taught me that character is important to me. I hadn't previously known it, but then I met her, a young woman of character. I tell her I love her. I mean it. I feel it.
Words are easily said, easily written. What I mean when I say I love my wife is that I want her to have peace in her life, happiness, joy. I want her to have comforts, rich experiences and I want her to know she is the most important thing in my life, that I will care for her no matter what, that being together with her and our family is what I want most. What I mean when I tell her I love her is that I want to contribute to these goals.
But how does she feel? Is she happy? Does she have rich experiences, joy, peace? Does she always feel loved? I know that she doesn't sometimes and that sometimes I'm the reason. I know I'm not perfect and I don't think she expects me to be, but when my actions make my words empty it's painful for me and I would guess trying for her.
Incredible that words should come so easily and be so hard to live up to. I didn't know it would be that way, but I see the reality of it in the single most important relationship in my life.
We speak promises with our words. We don't know that sometimes we can't live up to them. Or that living up to them may be the pursuit of a lifetime. I continue to try to live up to the words I speak to my wife, to behave in ways that make her feel loved, safe, happy. Ultimately, I think the reason I fell in love with my wife is that I believed that she would spend her life trying to live up to her promises. I believed I could trust her with me. I wanted to be the one she trusted with her. nh has kept that sacred trust and it is the greatest gift I've ever been given.
I hope gg doesn't just call km17 incredible, I hope gg treats her that way. I hope km17 is smarter than I was, I hope she will expect everyone she loves in her life to keep their promises, to keep that sacred trust.
1 comment:
Woah, that's heavy. Very moving and very challenging. Sometimes I find it easier to actively love my kids than I do my wife. She doesn't ask for it as much, or doesn't seem to anyway.
Then I catch myself not listening to her, or irritated by something I think she's complaining about, when what she really needs is someone who's safe to discuss/process these things around. Ok, my friend, tonight because of what you've written here, when she speaks, I'll put aside my "stuff" and listen.
Thank you!
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