A boy and a booger

Recently Grandma and NHL found a giant booger on the wall.  They were unable to discern the culprit and so NHL declared that there would be no swimming until the guilty party came forward.  WG6 fessed up.

Immediately after swimming WG6 stepped out of the pool and said, "Mom, that really wasn't my booger on the wall."

Little stinker.

Charity Never Faileth

When my wife and I bought our first house there was also a guesthouse on the property.  My plan was to remodel the guesthouse over the Christmas Holiday and rent it out immediately.  My wife's family chipped in a significant portion of manual labor to help us get the job done.  We saw them everyday, much to my relief. 

You see, I was in over my head.  Way over my head.  I was feeling overwhelmed.  During this time my Father-in-law said something which has always stuck with me, "What time do you want us back tomorrow?"  He didn't ask, "Do you want us back tomorrow?"  He didn't make me ask him to come back, he just asked me what time he should be there.  It was a great comfort to me to know he was going to be there, that he was planning to be there.  He didn't know it, but he taught me a very powerful lesson about how service should be given and I've never forgotten it.

I'm grateful for my Father-in-law.

Personal Revelation

When Mom died in February NHL and I started talking about moving back to where we had family.  The move to Waco was supposed to be an adventure and an opportunity to get back into manufacturing, which I felt I was good at.  I think it has ended up being both of those things.

But we have three young boys who have grandparents and a big sister in Tucson and after Mom passed it just seemed more important to be where they were.  So we began to fast and pray each Sunday.  We wanted to understand God's will regarding the move.  After a few weeks NHL was there.  She believed that God had answered her prayer and that we should move.  To me however, it felt that my prayers had gone unanswered.

Month passed.  NHL and the boys travelled home for Summer vacation.  While they were gone I received an e-mail from the agent who manages the home we were renting.  He was telling us that the folks who owned the home wanted to move back to Texas and we would have to be out by the end of July.

The need for a little guidance was suddenly more pressing.  If we moved locally we'd surely have to sign a lease for another year.  We didn't want to wait that long.  So, I went to the Temple in Dallas.  After the session I sat in the Celestial room and I prayed.  I asked Heavenly Father what I should do....nothing.  Then I felt prompted to say, "Heavenly Father, I'm going to pack up my family and move back to Tucson, will you please let me know if you'll bless that effort?"  Immediately I was overcome with emotion and a certainty that God would bless us if we moved.

When I left the Dallas Temple I began to remember guidance from our scriptures.  Doctrine and Covenants 9:7-8 reads, "You must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.”  I had not made up my mind.  I was asking God to make the decision and I was getting nowhere.  So, not only did God answer my prayer, he also deeply rooted the process for making decisions in my mind.

I called NHL and shared my experience with her.  We spoke with her parents and made arrangements to move in with them and move back to Tucson.  My work asked me to stay on another month to help with the transition and so as of now I'm here and they're there.  I miss them very much.

Interestingly enough, a week after we'd made arrangements to move back to Tucson we received a call from the property manager stating that the owners had changed their minds and we could stay.  If we had never been pressed to make the decision we would not have made it until I found work there.

I find I'm excited about our return.

Poetry

I've always loved poetry.  This is from DG8s first attempt in second grade.    I love what he's done.
The star is a little tough to read, but is beautiful.

The Star:  Gleaming. Glowing.  Always growing happier in the dark black sky.

Well done DG8.  Well done.

Tractors don't go moooo

GM1 is a freak for the movie Cars.  He could watch it all day and at times demands to do so.  Today he brought a toy tractor to his Mother and said, "Mooo."  When the kid thinks tractors mooo he's been watching Cars too much don't you think?

A Piano Recital

Yesterday DG8 had his first piano recital.  He played Three Blind Mice and The Library.  He was a little stiff at the keyboard and said he was afraid, but I was impressed.  At the last minute his teacher informed him he would be doing Three Blind Mice without being able to see the music AND HE DID IT!  He slowed in the middle for a minute, but all in all, WOW!  I was proud.  Good job DG8.

DG8 was shy about bowing and wouldn't bow by himself.  When the other kids stood at the end to bow he stood in the back.  One day he have to find the courage to bow, but for now the recital is plenty.

When will I get taller?

Today WG6 asked Mom, "When will I grow taller?" 

That book they're holding has 100 reading lessons in it.  WGs Mom acquired the book on the recommendation of a friend and reviewed almost every lesson with him herself and togther they worked to make sure the kid can read. 

I think they can both stand a little taller.  What a good kid.  What a great Mom.

Pinewood Derby #1 The Debut of DG8

Dg8 is our local, neighborhood scout.  As an 8 year old he has the opportunity for the next few years to participate in the pinewood derby races with his troop.  This year was his first year, and I do mean his.  I'm not a fan of father's who put more effort into their son's pinewood derby car than their sons do. 

So we bought the kit.  He marked the profile of the shape he wanted from his car and I cut it out on the bandsaw.  He sanded the car, stained it...yes stained it because he wanted the natural wood to show through, polished the axels while I held the drill and adivsed, determined the placement of the weight, put on the cars number, placed graphite on the wheels and axels and made sure the wheels were square and level.

I advised.  I looked up ideas on the internet, bought the weights, showed him how to sand and stain, let him put on the numbers even though I didn't think they were perfect (he did though), taught him how to polish the axels as he did so and I did push on the wheels instead of using a hammer.

It was his first race.  As we sat there pre-race he said, "I don't think I'm going to do very good."  I said, "Son, you don't plant a seed thinking the things not going to come up.  You did your best, let's see what happens."  Later he admitted he was doubting himself.

Race 1 Heat 1:  2nd place
Race 2 Heat 1:  1st place
Race 3 Heat 1:  1st place
Race 4 Heat 1:  1st place  and advance to the 2nd and final heat

Race 1 Heat 2:  1st place
Race 2 Heat 2:  1st place
Race 3 Heat 2:  2nd place
Race 4 Heat 2:  1st place

Overall Performance: 2nd place out of 37 cars and 3 troops.  Not bad for a Doubting Thomas!

We looked up some stuff on the internet, but in retrospect I think it was the profile shape he chose.  It may have been serendipitous, but I believe it allowed for the center of gravity to be an inch or so in front of the rear axle.  I think the distribution of weight made the car very stable and allowed for a smooth ride.  Dg8s car was simple and beautiful.  Way to go Dg8.

Mom

On February 10, 2012 @ 5:55 am Mom passed.  Her husband of 21 years was with her, as was her mother and her Aunt Pauline.  She had a short bout with Cancer.  The doctors called it Adenocarcinoma NOS (not otherwise specified).  Dr. D explained the cancer was "wild and fast."  Wild because it was spreading everywhere and fast because the tumors/lesions were fast growing. 

We visited at Thanksgiving.  She was having some pain then between her shoulder blades and hips.  A scan identified serious deterioration in C5, C6, and C7 between her shoulder blades.  She had torn her meniscus in her left knee and thought the pain in her hip was from compensating for the bum knee.  It wasn't from compensating.  The cancer was deteriorating the hip closest to the spine she just didn't know that yet.  It was a good visit.  She and Steve took us and the kids to the Imagination Station and we all had fun.  She got to see her GM1 toddling around and generally being very demanding.

On Dec 8th the doc told my Mother that if she were 80 he'd tell her to go home and enjoy the rest of her life, but since she was 61 and healthy it would be worth an attempt at treatment.  At first she was very matter of fact about it all.  "I'm dying," she said.  I think Steve talked her into trying treatment.  She did.  The chemo was a shot in the dark because they couldn't type the cancer, they couldn't determine the origin.  As such, they weren't sure which chemo cocktail might be effective.

She lost her hair and the pain meds put her down for much of the time.  In the end, not only did the cancer spread, but the existing tumors grew.  It was only a matter of time then.

The Monday before I arrived she felt a great presssure in her chest.  It scared her.  She asked her husband to get her Mother and Sister next door.  She told Steve to call the kids.  She went to the hospital to stay.

In the beginning there was talk of getting her home, but her pain management required close attention and pills were not an option.  I arrived late Tuesday and showed up at the hospital on Wednesday morning about 10:30.  When she saw me she said, "My son."  The only time I saw her cry was very shortly after that.  It seemed a cry of sorrow.  It was very brief and it was with Steve very close.  She was strong about her prognosis.

That day over 30 people came to visit her in the hospital.  Though she kept saying they had just given her meds and she was probably going to sleep she only dozed about 40 minutes between my arrival that morning and 5:30 that night.  She was funny and consoling.  She comforted as much as she was comforted.  Grandma said, "She needed that."  I agree.  It was good for her.  What we learned though was that she wasn't pushing her pain pump so she would be awake for her company.  It took some time after that to get her pain back under control.  Dr. D chided her the next day and asked that she pare back the company so she could rest.  That Wednesday was her best day.

A big number

Today WG6 went to his first soccer practice.  At practice he got his jersey, a sporty bright green thing with the number 34 on the back.  When WG6 saw the number he exclaimed, "How many people are on my team?"

Words fill my soul

This morning I left the house around 7:15.  School is out and everyone was still asleep when I quietly shut the front door.  It was cold outside.  Ice on the windshield.  I crawled into the Suburban, turned the ignition and the wipers on.  I waited for the ice to melt.  As the wipers brushed away the bottom part of the ice I noticed WG6 at the top of the driveway waving to me.

I waved back and then motioned for him to get in the vehicle with me.  When he climbed up I wrapped my arms around him and held him close.  "What in the heck are you doing waving at me, outside and in your underwear pal?"  "I was waving because I love you so much." 

It's these moments I hold close when the world crowds in.  I am grateful to live, to love and to be loved.  I am grateful.

GM1, Me, and WG6 picking out a tree: Christmas 2011

"Dad, will you check on me?"

I don't know why it started, but one day it did. Dg8 just started showing up in the bedroom after he had gone to bed.

"Dad I'm scared."
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know.  I just feel so lonely.  I love you so much."
"Well I love you too.  And we're here and your fine so go to bed."
"Will you check on me?"
"Yes."
"Will you check on me a lot?"
"Yes Dg8 now go to bed."

Everynight he would ask me.  "Will you check on me?"  "Yes."  "But will you check on me a lot?"  "Yes buddy, now go to bed."  Sometimes he would come down crying.  I told him he didn't have to wait until he was so distraught he was crying.  He could just come down.  He accepted the offer and began to come downstairs looking sad.  Occassionally, he would bring his beddings and sleep on the floor at the foot of our bed.

Over time this evolved.  We tried praying, which he says helps and he is now doing everynight.  We tried breathing in and breathing out and just focusing on breathing.  After awhile we tried to tap into his positive imagination.  All attempts had limited effect.  He eventually started to ask me to pray with him each night when I went to check on him.  And finally, he wanted to make sure I wasn't going to be asleep before him.
I almost never go to sleep before Dg8, but one night after the process began I did and he reminds me of it everynight.  "Dad, will you check on me?"  "Yes."  "Will you check on me a lot?"  "Yes.  Tons."  "Will you pray with me if I'm awake when you come up?"  "Yes, of course."  "Are you going to go to sleep before me?"  "No, I never do Dg8."  "You did that one night."   Uggghhh.

At times it was ridiculous.  On our vacation we passed through Missouri.  My Grandfather called it "Misery" when he was alive.  He hated to drive through "Misery."  We got a hotel after midnight one night.  I was beat.  The room had double queen beds.  We put GM1s pack and play between the beds.  I lay down with my hand over the bed so GM1 had something to hold and to comfort him, though the room was fairly lit.  Dg8 lay on the side closest to me and while staring at me, two feet away he said it all again.  "Dad, will you check on me?"

He hasn't been down in our room in quite some time.  And every time I check on him now he's asleep, though he never fails to ask the questions.  For awhile I was frustrated, but I think everyone needs the same kinds of comfort Dg8 is asking for.  We need to know someone is there and that they're checking on us.  And sometimes we need to know their checking on us a lot and that we won't be alone.

The Gateway Arch in St. Louis

When I was a boy I would look out my 2nd floor window over the pines the rich people planted to keep the courts private from us next door.  I looked into the court where anonymous people played at night in their white shorts, polo shirts and sweatbands.  The lights didn't go out until 10pm and during the summer my windows would be open.  I could hear the crickets and the thwack of the ball.  Thwack-thud-thwack-thud.

I always thought the girls, on the other side of the upstairs, got a raw deal.  I don't remember them ever having a tough time sleeping, but I did.  When no one was playing I would sneak down the stairs, placing my boy's feet carefully around the creaking boards.  When the t.v. was in the right spot I might watch with immunity for quite awhile.  When the t.v. was in the wrong place I could sit very safely and listen.  At some point I would wake up and stagger to my bed.

A Conference

dg8's teacher is Mrs. M.  Yesterday I went for a parent teacher conference where Mrs. M. reviewed a beginning of the year reading and math assessment.  It shakes out like this:
Reading: Accuracy @ 95% which just means he accurately identifies 95% of the words he reads.  Words per minute comes in @ 46.  The theory is that this can impact his comprehension score which is 7 out of 10.  Apparently, the slower you read and the longer it takes to get through a sentence, the more you forget by the time you get to the end of that sentence.   Reading with feeling is 3 out of 3...excellent.  This puts him at a reading level N...3rd grade reading level.  The takeaway?  Focus on words per minute and the payoff is greater comprehension.

I explained that dg8 seems much improved since the beginning of the year.  We expected him to read over the summer, which he did; the Magic Tree house series.  It didn't seem like he'd improved much, but since school started he is reading everything.  Nothing can be spelled in front of him any longer.  He's sharper and more insightful.  The teacher agrees.

Today she performed her own assessment.  The results are that dg8 has more than doubled his words per minute to 101.  He's doing great and his assessments are another data point showing us what we already know, he's bright.  We just have to keep him working.

Oh yeah, he's pretty good at math too.  Watch, he'll end up doing something mathy.

A Child's Prayer

wg6 has begun to give thanks for gravity during prayers.  I mean really, who doesn't appreciate gravity.  Think of what it makes possible.  What a kid.

Fire Truck Beds

NH bought a firetruck bed for dg when he was moving from the crib to a bed.  It was $50 and we bought it a few streets over at a yard sale in our neighborhood.  The bed was read in, bad guys were vanquished there and little ones even managed to squeeze under the thing for hide-and-seek.  It would be safe to say the boys loved the bed.  Heck, we all loved the bed.

Enter gm1.  He's in a crib, but it was very important for NH to have THE bed that worked for the other boys.  The search began.  After lots of time on Craig's list and lots of bartering and a long drive an identical bed was found and brought home. I gave NH a hard time for going to such great lengths over this little bed, but as I look at these pictures and remember I see now that she was right to want the same special memories for gm1 we all had with the other boys.  Here is gm1.  I don't think there is any question that he will love it as much as his brothers.

It's like a roller coaster, only more holy.

Today was our annual Primary Program.  dg8 had a pretty big part and some lines, but woke up with pretty serious stomach pains and I stayed home with him.  NH took wg6 and I'm told the program went well.  wg6 took his turn at the podium, "I went to the Gila Valley Temple.  It was like being on a rollercoaster, only more holy."

We carved pumpkins today.  I might say I don't enjoy it.  I'm a curmudgeon about Halloween in general if you want to know the truth.  But the kids love it and so does their Mom and I love them.  I try to dial down the curmudgeoniness.

This morning wg6 walked me outside as I left for work.  This is unusual.  I said I love you and waved.  He said he loved me and waved.  It made me feel wonderful.  Then on the way home from lunch I received a wonderful e-mail from NH.  I feel loved.

Here is wg6 opening bday presents.  He loves the bathrobe is mom got him.  He's a wonderful boy.

Baptism Birthday

He's been excited for a few months about his "baptism birthday." I was very excited for his baptism as well. Grandma Margie and Grandpa Greg came and so did his big sister and Christer. He remarked how warm the water was. He seemed very excited.

KM20 asked me how it felt to baptize my first child. I said, "I won't be having that privilege today." She looked confused briefly and then understood I was referring to her. Dg8 over heard a conversation between KM20 and his mother in which KM said to her, "Well, one down and two to go." NH explained that there were three to go. When we got home Dg8 explained that there were 3 baptisms to go and not two, that she needed to be baptized also.

I felt the spirit with us on the day of Dg's baptism and I believe the blessing of heaven were with us. It brings me great joy to see this wonderful boy choose to do what is right. I hope that he always may be so wise and strive to be like Jesus.

GML0

Last October little GML was born. He's coming up on one. He standing, he's happy, we love him very much. Behold the boy.

 

Santa Frauds

Last week Dg7 asked me if Santa's elves were real. I said I didn't know, but somebody had to make all of those toys. It was weak. I sensed he believed I was lying. At some point the cute white lie becomes an ugly one.

"I've seen lots of Santas." "Yes, I know, he has many helpers," I offer. He's old enough to know the truth and what's more I believe it is right that he should be told the truth by us, that the time has come for him.

I worried briefly if it's a loss of innocence. Ultimately I come to the conclusion that he's growing and that how he sees the world is changing and will change. Much of how he sees the world will be from outside pressures his friends, t.v., school, etc... I guess with Santa I have an opportunity to change it on my terms and at the same time maintain a healthy level of trust with Dg7.

Let's face it, Santa is always a horrible lie. The magical myth masks the true power of the Savior and the salvation of mankind. The Savior's love, life, and atonement are where the real feelings of hope and charity come from that make the season bright to begin with.

Maybe this Christmas the only presents we give in our house will be ones we make. Wouldn't that be a switch. And maybe then we could dodge the long tendriled arm of master marketers who want it to be about them. It doesn't have to be. We decide it by what we do.

What a great blessing Dg7 is. I cherish the little guy.

I went too far

Today I watched an old cheesy sci fi with the boys. It's pretty bland and I wasn't too worried about them getting scared.

I was wrong. The doppleganger was too much and Dg7 didn't take it well. He was crying and dramatic and I was unsympathetic and remorseful.

During family prayer his younger brother prayed and it went something like this..."Dear Heavenly Father, please bless that the creepy guys with the scary black eyes will leave Dg7s mind so he won't remember it anymore. And also that he won't remember their long creepy black claws that they sneak up on you and get you with. And also please bless that he know that people won't really sneak up on you when they're really someone else, but you think their not and then they kill you." I appreciated the intent, but the level of detail could not have possilbly been comforting for Dg7.

I screwed up.

Opinionated

Wg4, "The world is important."
"It is?"
"Yeah, and so are refrigerators. Refrigerators are important to hold your food."
"Oh."

He disappears into the bathroom, me on the computer and a minute later.

"That's a pretty long poo poo for one man." Then he talks at length about turtles.
"And Dad?"
"Yes."
"I got stabbed through the hand one time with a fork."
"Oh yeah."
"Yeah. I was trying to use my magic to get the watermelon seeds off."
"Oh."
"But I couldn't do it."

And on and on. How is it possible not to love your kids?

The Baby

She felt the baby move yesterday. Very nice.

Gila Valley Temple Open House

As we toured the Temple today my father held the hands of my sons. I also held the hand of my oldest son. When we walked through the endowment room door I was struck that the very purpose of the temple is to forge the links between generations, sealing them together back to Adam. I don't think I'll ever forget that moment.

Another notable moment was during the 12 minute presentation before the tour when the speaker talked about doing baptisms for the dead in the Temple. Dg6 turned to me and said, "Are you gonna do that for Grandma Daisy?"
"I have to ask Paw Paw first. He has to give me permission. But then Mom will do it, and I will perform the ordinance."

I'm amazed at how well these young boys understand. What a great blessing they both are.

Honesty. Honestly!

Wg4 is a wonderful boy. But he is 4 and is often at the mercy of his own zeal. Today as we left the temple open house for the Gila Valley Temple Wg4 pinched his brother. I was not happy. I explained that not only would he not get any dessert the rest of the day, but that he would get to see his brother double up because he was going to get both desserts.

Wg4 was not happy, but he gets it. He's not supposed to pinch. I was being leaned on pretty heavily when Dg6's giant fried ice cream showed up so I resolved to make a lesson of it.

I sat Dg6 on my left knee and Wg4 on my right knee after Dg6 was finished, but there was still dessert remaining. "Dg6, are you willing to forgive your brother and let him forgo his punishment and have some of what's left of your dessert?"
"Yes."
"And Wg4, if you promise to stop pinching you may have some dessert. Do you promise to stop pinching." Faint mumbling. "What?"
"I think."
"No, that's not good enough, you must promise."
A thoughtful pause and then Wg4 says, "Then no, I don't want any dessert," and begins to slide off of my lap. I laughed out loud. It was wonderfully obvious he was being honest with himself and he was being honest with us. Several of us laughed out loud.
"Wait a minute come here. Why won't you promise?"
"It's too hard."
"Okay then, will you try your very best to stop pinching?"
"Yes."
"Dg6, is that good enough."
"Yes." (He would regret this as soon as the ride home.)
"Okay, you can have some dessert."

How can you not love the kid's integrity and his brother's willingness to forgive him. Good boys!