Karate means "empty hand"

Friday night the boys dressed up in their outfits we got them from China. They thought it would inspire their Karate moves. They're always asking, "Dad, do you want to see my Karate moves?"

We used their enthusiasm as a springboard and had a movie night - The Karate Kid. I lay down with a boy under each arm, pillows and a warm blanket and relived the eighties.

When we were done, way past the boys bedtimes, wg3's first words were, "Can we watch it again?"

Interestingly, during the movie wg3 kept wanting to rewind to the "girl parts." "She'll be on again," I said. Apparently Elizabeth Shue is his type.

Sibling Rivlary

Soccer went better for both boys this week.

Tonight we were discussing it at the table with Maw Maw and Paw Paw.

First wg3 was asked how his game went.
"Lizzie scored a goal." "Did you like it," Paw Paw asked? "Yeah, it was good."

"And Dg5, how did your soccer go?" "It's good."
"Dg5 scored a goal in soccer practice," says I. "Yeah, and wg3 didn't score any," says dg5.
I give him a look. "Hey pal, that's not nice. We encourage each other in this house."
He gives me a look that I interpret as, "Okay, I see you don't like it, I get it, but it's true." "Sorry," he says.
Indeed.

I'm happy they're adjusting well to soccer. It should be great fun for many years.

Big Fat Baby

Today on the way home from church we were discussing wg3's size at birth. 11lbs. 5oz. I told him he was the biggest baby anybody remembers in our family. I told him nurses came from all over the hospital to see him because he was so big. I told him he had a big fat head and big fat cheeks. He had big fat arms, big fat legs and a big fat belly.

dg5 chimes in, "I remember that. Did anybody come from all over the hospital to see me?" ***an innocent conversation turns into a fast car on a hairpin turn***

Fortunately wg3 chimed in with a question. "Dad?" "Yes." "Um. Dad did I have big fat boobies like you?" It wasn't the salvation I was looking for, but it served it's purpose. "That's it, you're gonna get it when we get home pal," I tell him. Both boys giggle.

I really have to do something about my weight. I guess I was just thinking I'd wait until after the holidays, but maybe 11 months is too long to wait to start.

The Economy Stinks

The 800+ Billion dollar stimulus package passed the Senate today so I guess it's a done deal. I hope it's less of a debacle than the last stimulus package. We did our part to stimulate the economy and bought furniture 50% off.

At Fast and Testimony meeting two Sunday's ago in San Diego an Area Authority shared something from the First Presidency. They said if we will pay a full tithe, a generous fast offering and do our Visiting and Home Teaching that we will weather this economic difficulty.

That's good to know. I've been anxious about work lately. Things feel very dim, I don't want to be a lay-off, but I am in the building products industry. We've been told that housing starts are below depression era numbers and there are 3 times as many people today.

I'm grateful to have prophets, seers, and revelators today. The programs are simple, it just usually our execution that stinks.

A visitor

We have Grandma Brown staying with us this week. Truth be known, I love the old bird. She can't hear a friggin thing, she's blind in one eye and can't see out of the other, but she's full of spunk and I like that about her most of all.

The boys love her too, although dg5 complained once that she had bad breath. wg3 especially hangs near her. When we eat he sits beside her, when we watch t.v. he sits beside her, when we read scriptures he sits beside her. If wg3 had his way he'd be in her lap.

It amazes me, there is a 90 year gap between them and yet they're fast friends. Last night wg3 got up and went into her room and wanted to sleep in her bed. "I had a bad dream," he said. But gently she explained that she had to sleep in her bed and so he had to sleep in his. Obediently he left her room and promptly walked to ours and curled up on the floor. What a kid.

Fatigue

I went to the Dr. today for chronic fatigue. As I sat there waiting for him to come into the room I busied myself anticipating questions he might ask me when it hit me. I'm never not tired. I'm preoccupied with things, I'm busy, but I could lay down anywhere and take a nap.

It sneaks up on you, over time, gradually. Then one day you realize the quality of your life is a struggle to maintain, that you haven't read a book in awhile, that your discretionary time is less and less, that mustering the energy to do anything valuable, anything other than veg out is more than you care to muster. It's insidious really.

So he sent me for X-rays, blood work and a sleep study. I've heard they put wires all over you and ask you to sleep. Honestly, I don't think I'll have a problem.

A cheap movie ?????

On Tuesdays they have one dollar movies so nh and I took the kids and Grandma Brown to see Madagascar2. I love the penguins, they make me laugh hard. The whole shebang cost $5...until we walked out of the theater.

American Home Furnishings is closing it's Tucson stores. We bought a longer dining room table and a couch for $2733.45.

That brings the cheap movie to $2738.45.

Am I a blessing to my wife?

It's a question I ask myself recently. I want to be a blessing to her.

Today as I was driving I was listening to the Diane Ream show on NPR. Diane Ream is like one-thousand years old or something, but her program is very interesting.

Today they were talking about relationships of folks who are marrying late because they're widowers or something. Like somebodies 70 year old mother was getting married.

Two ideas bugged me. One was the comment that many of these late age married folks claim they have NEVER had a better relationship. A discussion of the reasons why might be intriguing, but I couldn't get past the feeling that I want my Beloved to feel that way about the marriage she's in, not after I'm dead with some other husband.

Secondly, a woman wrote in to say that after 35 years of marriage her husband still loves her, but she does not love him, what could she do? Ugggghhh. What a nightmare. I don't want that either. I want my wife to have a happy fulfilling life, but I'll admit I'm not a blessing as much as I could be, not by a long shot.

Dr. Kevin Lehman wrote a book called "Sex Begins in the Kitchen." Weird, I know. But the idea is that there are many things you can do to improve your spouses health and well-being and it starts with taking out the trash, or doing the dishes, or whatever you can do to take the burden off of her, to carry the load in what should be an equal partnership. We men should do extra stuff, special stuff too, but getting in the trenches is the best way to show your spouse you're committed to her, that you love her, that you really care for her well being. I think that's right.

I want to be a good husband. I don't want my wife to not love me after 35 years of marriage. I think the primary issue was put like this today by Diane's guest. As we experience life changes such as job changes, home changes, kids, or maybe even illness that it changes us as people. And the spouse we're married to today isn't that same one we married 10 years ago, and we're not the same either. So in a sense we find ourselves in several different marriages over one relationship. We have to adapt, adjust, reset our course and move fluidly as the needs of our partner and our own needs change.

I'll admit, kids have rocked me oddly. I love them very much. I look forward to seeing them everyday, to hearing from them, to being together, but I have not managed the most important relationship in my family life soundly. I feel after some thought I'm neglecting the person I love the most, even though she doesn't say it. I think for us all I have to try harder. I love my wife and I want to be the blessing to her that I find she is to me.

Competitive Spirit

At soccer practice wg3 did well. He played follow the leader nicely, he mostly obeyed instructions, he practiced his falling down and getting up quickly with a real art. Then the coach did something I thought was pretty ingenious, he tricked them into playing soccer and this is where wg3 checked out.

The game was put the Easter eggs in the basket. The Easter eggs were soccer balls and the basket were the goals. Every kid had a ball and off they went. At first wg3 was a little bewildered and then he got it, but he didn't like one of the rules - you can take the ball away from anyone you want. He was neither inclined to steal the balls and didn't really look as though he appreciated it when the ball was stolen from him either. So as the coach slowly removed balls from the field wg3 decided he didn't like all the fighting over balls and went to climb a tree.

Eventually there was only one ball on the field and the kids were playing something that looked very much like soccer and they didn't even know it. Bravo coach! I was impressed. Wg3 was completely disinterested.

As we left coach asked wg3, "Did you like the games we played today wg3?"
"I'm not playing anymore of your games!"
"Didn't you have fun?"
"I hate your games," and he never even looked back nor broke stride.

Interestingly wg3 says he still wants to play soccer. And now I'm clued in that he has absolutely no idea was soccer is. I love wg3. What a random, spirited little dude.

I'm cowboy

Each morning when I rise for work I am greeted by wg3. He sits on the floor of the bathroom as I shower, he picks out the pants, I pick out the shirt, he picks out the orange, I pick out the yogurt. We're a team and he's very helpful. I very much enjoy our time together each morning.

Part of our routine is that I sit down and he crawls into my lap. I hug him and tell him I love him, that I'm grateful Heavenly Father sent him to our family, that he's a good boy. To this of late he unequivocally responds, "I'm not a boy. I'm a cowboy!" I always accept the correction with surprise and apology. He's adopted this persona since his Uncle JG gave him the boots his older three cousins had handed down.

Tonight at his soccer practice, yes he's three and yes he's in soccer, the coach had everyone say their names. The coach is a friend of ours and he knows wg3's name, but for the benefit of the others asked him to say it. I was a little way off, but still within ear shot when coach got to him. "What," the coach asks? Something unintelligible. "I thought your name was wg3," says the coach. "I'm cowboy," I hear. A look from the coach, "He answers to both," says I and the day went on. We've really got to find him a cowboy hat.

It pains a father's heart

Today we took dg5 to soccer practice. It's really his first time in an organized sport; if you can call trying to get 5 year olds to work collectively organized sports. He does pretty well early on, but then the substitute coach was trying to teach him and he just kinda shut down. I could see it, his body language was closed, his participation level went to nearly zero and then they broke for water. He came to me and I told him he was doing great and to get a drink. He got a drink, came back to me and didn't make it back on the field.

He cried a little, he was scared he said. I asked him what he was scared about and he said, "All of the kids." There were some that could kick it over his head. I asked if he was afraid they would eat him. He said, "No" and threw some grass at me. I asked if one had a Raptor claw on their foot and he said, "No" and threw some more grass at me. It wasn't working and I thought he needed some time so I left him with his mom and wg3 and I walked over by dg5's new teammates and watched the practice.

This happened before during our vacation in Utah. It was weird, he closed up, upset and way internalized and then later you never knew it happened.

When we got home I took off his shoes and socks for him and we went upstairs and I washed his face with a cool rag. I told him he didn't have to play, that I loved him no matter what. I told him next week I'd be on the field near him in case he had any questions. He seems okay with that and ready to get back on the field. Then we played some chess and I think we both forgot about it.

All in all I think it works together for his good, but I suspect it puts lines on my face. Who wants to see their kids struggling to contain their emotions, obviously upset, but trying? I really think it will be easier for him next week. He warms up to things. Here's hoping.

Taking advantage of his younger brother

dg5 and wg3 fight over who gets the mail, a favorite activity of their mother's. One day dg5 got wise.

"Wg3, I'll make you a deal. I'll get the mail and you get the paper okay?"
"Okay."

The paper only comes once a week.

The things he says

dg5 says some of the most grown up, sweet stuff I've ever heard. exempli gratia:

"What was your favorite thing you did today pal?"
"Spend time with Mom."

or

"What was your favorite thing about our San Diego trip boys?"
wg3 says, "The birthday party!"
"And you dg5?"
"cl8's baptism."
"Not the birthday party?"
"No."
"Wg3, did you like the baptism?"
"I hated the baptism." What are you gonna do, he's three.

or on the funny side...
Out of the blue, "Fire in the hole," followed abruptly by a fart sound he makes with his mouth.

Can you lick your elbow?

I eat two packets of oatmeal each morning for breakfast during the work week. I eat them at work. When I heat up the water in a company coffee cup our Janitor always says, "Why don't you try that coffee a little stronger." He knows I'm LDS and I don't drink coffee because I gave him a Book of Mormon once. He isn't malicious, but he never forgets that same old joke.

On the packets of oatmeal are interesting facts (or not as you will see) and sometimes corny riddles. Oatmeal packet information is perfect for me, simple and silly, it's really about all I can handle. This morning the packet cried out to me, "Human beings cannot lick their elbows." Hmmm, I thought and I stored the information away.

Tonight we had the good fortune to have KM18 come for Family Home Evening. She did a craft with the boys which was very cool as they idolize that chickita, we had dinner courtesy of nh (thank you very much), and yummy cookies of wg3's choice since he was responsible for the treat. All of the eating was followed by a lesson courtesy of nh, a song courtesy of us all and a prayer by that ornery wg3.

Wg3 was upset barely spoke what could pass for a prayer because he wanted a Mormon Battalion flag I revoked so he would pay attention. He showed me though. Someone should write a book, How to Outsmart Your Three Year Old and Help Him Behave!!! I sure don't know how to do it.

After the prayer came a challenge. It was from me to the group and it came with a prize, one I wasn't planning on paying out, but now I have to as you will see. This is how it went down.

"I will give anyone who can lick their elbow the biggest toy they want." The licking commenced. wg3 was out very quickly. I don't think he came within a foot of his elbow. I can't say that I did either. As for that KM18 wasn't even close either. nh was by far the closest adult, but as for that not even close. And then there is dg5.

I remember when he was 3 he saw me snapping my fingers. I showed him how I did it and for weeks he went around trying to get those blasted fingers to snap. He never got frustrated and though the attempt was not continuous he never tired of it and would randomly go after it again. Before long he was a finger snapping wild man. I was impressed that he could do it at his uncoordinated age, but I was more impressed at his approach.

When the elbow licking commenced there was dg5, not giving up, not frustrated, but the closer he came the harder he tried. I'll say this, the kid has an unnaturally long tongue. His mouth had to go dry on him. He was so close, but I wouldn't give it to him, no, he actually had to lick the elbow. We were busting up at the little fellow. And then a weird thing happened, they said it couldn't happen, but then it did. That munchkin turned his right arm counterclockwise, palm up, pressing the back of his hand against the floor and he licked his elbow perfectly. We erupted with congratulations and laughter and he glowed.

His toy of choice? "A super cool dragon!"

I tried to barter down, "I'll tell you what, I'll let you play the car video game for an hour if you want." "Okay," says he and then a pause and then, "No way." Easy come, easy go. I'm considering a letter and picture to Quaker Oatmeal asking for restitution for whatever it's gonna cost me.

The one downside is that wg3 couldn't do it and when he realized he wasn't going to get a full-sized motorcycle he was very discouraged and went into another room. I was pretty sad about that. His mother went in to comfort him, bless her heart and after a time he came out declaring, "Whoever can lick their hand gets a toy!" He mastered the hand licking very nicely, but I had to explain that the deal was that he must lick his elbow.

In the end we saved it with cookies all around as a consolation prize for those of us who couldn't figure out how to lick our elbows. That seemed to do the trick and even the elbow licker partook.

It was a good night and we were glad to have km18 with us.

Stories from Mom

The other day dg5 came home from preschool and said, Mom, do I have any extra money?"
"Yes," she said.
"Mom, we need to put my extra money in the bank."
"Yeah, we can put your money in your piggy bank."
"No, the BANK," he says.
"In the Hughes Federal Credit Union Bank?"
"Yeah."
"Okay."

We're guessing he learned something about banks in preschool.


The same day wg3 and Mom were at the scout office. wg3 was beahaving like a 3 year old, mixing up the pencils, waving the restroom key around over his head and wanting to duel with his light sabre. He very frankly asked the lady at the counter for a pocket knife.

On the way out he showed his mother a sly grin. She stopped. "What are you smiling about wg3?" No response, he just cocked his head to the side and kept on smiling. Mom noticed he had a hand over his pocket. She moved his little paws and found it full of pins and belt loops; rewards for scouts who achieve a certain amount of completed tasks.

"wg3, if we had left the store with those that would be stealing. We don't do that. When you steal the police come and take you to jail."
To which he replied, "How do you get the police officers to come?"
"You call them."
"Can we call them now?"
"No."
"But I want to call them. I want to have them over for dinner."

We think he is missing the point.

Congratulations Mr. President

"My countrymen, we do not now differ in our judgment concerning the controversies of past generations, and fifty years hence our children will not be divided in their opinions concerning our controversies. They will surely bless their fathers and their fathers' God that the Union was preserved, that slavery was overthrown, and that both races were made equal before the law. We may hasten or we may retard, but we can not prevent, the final reconciliation. Is it not possible for us now to make a truce with time by anticipating and accepting its inevitable verdict?" - James A Garfield, 1881

Whistling

Yesterday at work we used a dosimeter to measure the noise level of a machining process. When the employee reviewed the noise level she shared that a David put a finger in each side of his mouth and whistled over 100db. Very loud.

I was reminded of when I was a kid roaming the small Ohio neighborhood where I grew up. I could hear my Mom's whistle from blocks away. I don't ever remember dragging my feet when I heard that whistle. I do remember saying goodbye and running home. I never could whistle to the same effect.

Home

I arrived home from work just now. NH and the boys are at her parents house visiting her brother jg + kids and Aunt Kelly. This house is very empty without them. I don't like it here much just now.

We just can't get a normal smile

There was a period of time when dg would not smile for pictures or all smiles were goofy. Maybe I should just say that because he would not produce the hoped for smile the picture didn't turn out the way we hoped; oh and that he wasn't cooperating on purpose. dg5 is now moved out of that phase, but wg3 has no problem filling his shoes. After many pictures this is the best we got.

Ah, the picture without wg3. That's better.

Here he is in his wheelhouse.

Here he is when he doesn't know it's coming. Unfortunately, neither does anyone else. The consequence, occasionally heads are missing parts.

Existential

Went to help a family move today. At one point I found myself amidst four fake plants holding a watering can. Hmmmm.

My sledding wipeout

Our camera battery was low so I didn't bring it to do any short footage. However, a guy there named JB took some footage of my sledding wipeout. Behold

Love is the greatest gift

dg5 told me that whenever his cousin, cj12, sees a Bionicle he's going to buy it for dg5 and whenever dg5 sees a Bionicle he's going to buy it for cj12.

I said, "Why?"
"Because we're friends."
"Friends are a great gift."
"But there's a better gift."
"Oh yeah? What?"
"Love."

Whose kid is this??

Here they come

cl and wg3 are the first out of the chutes. Wg3 is upset he didn't hear Santa because he wanted to pet the reindeer. wg3 is going to be impossible to keep out of the gifts. He already walked up to a stocking and pulled out an M&M candy cane.

I said "Wg3 you have to put it back dude."
"But I asked for it for Christmas!" Fortunately nh got all the kids one.
"But that's not your stocking."
"Ohhhh." He collapses to his knees, dejected. He's so dramatic.

Christmas morning - early

It's Christmas morning and I'm up before the kids. How can this be?

Today we remember Christ's birth. His life is proof God loves us. I am grateful to know it.

It's rainy, dreary weather outside. It's supposed to rain all day here. Today we go see The Tale of Despereaux @ noon with Aunt Kelly.

An update: Despereaux stinks.

Faceplants

Today we went sledding in the Cleveland National Forest. It wasn't without it's dramas, but my favorite was the first of the day. On the way to the hill where the sledding would commence my "favorite oldest niece" saw a fresh patch of deep snow.
Her eyes widened, she ran, leapt high in the air, stretched out her arms for the perfect snow angel and then "uggghhh." She found her weight wasn't enough to compress the snow. Faceplant. I couldn't stop laughing. Some uncle I am.