Existential

Went to help a family move today. At one point I found myself amidst four fake plants holding a watering can. Hmmmm.

My sledding wipeout

Our camera battery was low so I didn't bring it to do any short footage. However, a guy there named JB took some footage of my sledding wipeout. Behold

Love is the greatest gift

dg5 told me that whenever his cousin, cj12, sees a Bionicle he's going to buy it for dg5 and whenever dg5 sees a Bionicle he's going to buy it for cj12.

I said, "Why?"
"Because we're friends."
"Friends are a great gift."
"But there's a better gift."
"Oh yeah? What?"
"Love."

Whose kid is this??

Here they come

cl and wg3 are the first out of the chutes. Wg3 is upset he didn't hear Santa because he wanted to pet the reindeer. wg3 is going to be impossible to keep out of the gifts. He already walked up to a stocking and pulled out an M&M candy cane.

I said "Wg3 you have to put it back dude."
"But I asked for it for Christmas!" Fortunately nh got all the kids one.
"But that's not your stocking."
"Ohhhh." He collapses to his knees, dejected. He's so dramatic.

Christmas morning - early

It's Christmas morning and I'm up before the kids. How can this be?

Today we remember Christ's birth. His life is proof God loves us. I am grateful to know it.

It's rainy, dreary weather outside. It's supposed to rain all day here. Today we go see The Tale of Despereaux @ noon with Aunt Kelly.

An update: Despereaux stinks.

Faceplants

Today we went sledding in the Cleveland National Forest. It wasn't without it's dramas, but my favorite was the first of the day. On the way to the hill where the sledding would commence my "favorite oldest niece" saw a fresh patch of deep snow.
Her eyes widened, she ran, leapt high in the air, stretched out her arms for the perfect snow angel and then "uggghhh." She found her weight wasn't enough to compress the snow. Faceplant. I couldn't stop laughing. Some uncle I am.

This just in

dg5 just came in to see me. I lay here beside wg3, my first umbilical cord, having coaxed him to sleep. dg5 made me a cookie. mmmm. What's this? Here's nh. "Do you want to get in the hot tub?"

What is this Valhalla?

18

I cannot help but feel she isn't ready.
I remember when she was born, covered in muck.

My first contact with her? "Make her cry." That's what the nurse said.
"What?"
"Shake her and make her cry. She needs to clear the gunk out of her lungs."

They took her from Julie and put her under a heat lamp and that's where I made her cry. What did I know about it? I was a 20 year old kid. I had to they said. It was good for her they told me.

It was disappointing to me that our first contact should be so purposeful. I just wanted to admire her and listen to her coo. You know, to bond. That's what I heard happens.

It turns out though, that a lot of practical things have to happen first. Cut the umbilical cord (it took me three children to do it myself - like cutting beef jerky), weight, length (not height), APGAR scores, cleaning, crying, swaddling, then feeding. Maybe then admiration, maybe then bonding.

Thinking of making her cry still tightens my chest. I never liked it. As it turns out the years ahead were to be filled with anxiety, tight chests, prayers, hope - more than laughter and admiration though it never was her fault. I rather think the next 18 will be more of the same.

I learned that first contact was important if not a very sentimental a moment. I'd like to spend more time admiring her, her life. But who ever turned 18 and didn't still have a little gunk in their lungs?

A pleasant Saturday

Went to see 7 pounds with km17 and thought is was a little underwhelming I give it a C-. We did IN-N-OUT Burger for lunch...mmmmm.
Then after a pleasant nap, thanks family, we went to Maw Maw and Paw Paw's for an early Christmas. The boys were very excited and of course got sugared up.

A weird thing

I was called as a Ward Mission Leader consecutively in two different wards. Though the number of Sister Missionaries in the Mission is very low I have spent probably 5 of my 7 years serving with them. We have many favorites and have the good fortune to remain friends with some of them.

Today the door bell rang. We bought our home from other members of the ward we moved into and when I answered the door Sister Ellsworth, now off of her mission, was on the other side. The weird thing???? She wasn't coming to see us, she was coming to see the folks we bought the house from. It was an exciting reunion. nh says Sister Ellsworth was her favorite missionary of all time, that there is a genuineness about her she hasn't felt so strongly from other missionaries.

It was good to see her.

wg3 - without guile

Today nh and the boys were viewing an online Christmas card of Santa bent over a tree working at present delivery and the crack of his butt was showing. The tag line read, Hope your Holidays are all they're cracked up to be.

wg3 then innocently and sincerely interjected, "Is my butt cracked?"
"No buddy. Your butt is not cracked." *Smiles all around*
"Oh. hehe."

A movie night

Recently dg5 and km17 exchanged snail mail letters. dg5 wrote all the letters himself. Anyway, km17 offered to do a movie night and sleepover with the boys. Well, let me tell you they have been looking forward to it everyday since. They are talking more about "movie night" with sister than Christmas.

Here's hoping it all goes down. The boys love their sister, but they don't see her much and she's begun to drop out of their prayers.

Home Teaching

I love home teaching, but I hate when my companion blows me off. Grrrrrr. I'd do it myself if that was the point.

Ugggh. Please eat your dinner.

Tonight we broke new ground and it was awful. We're trying to teach the kids to eat what they're given for dinner. We don't want the little monkeys running the asylum and we're not short order cooks. Well tonight dg5 developed an aversion to the beans in chili. Chili he has eaten regularly for some time by the way.

I put my foot down and said he had to eat it or he couldn't get up. He protested and we went back and forth a little. Then he shed two tsunami size crocodile tears and I fell off of my game a little. I said he could get up, but that he couldn't have anything else to eat. It liked to rip my heart out. He looked at me respectfully, but defiant against hunger and simply said, "Well I'm gonna eat a lot of cereal in the morning."

In the end he picked around the beans and ate what wasn't suddenly distasteful to him and that was it. I hope he's up early, I'll fill our bowls and we'll eat together.

A dream

Four days ago dg5 told me about a dream he'd had. He said, "I dreamt about Jesus and he told me some guys are gonna rob our house when we go on vacation." What do you do with that?

Pretend

When the boys and I went out to buy Christmas presents for nh we went to Kohls. As we went through the checkout line wg3 stepped into an empty cashier's booth and said shyly to the woman behind us in line, "I can help you please."

A giving spirit

Recently dg5 participated in a memory study with the U of A. They came to the house three times and played a memory game with him and recorded the results for their study. As a consequence dg5 received a gift certificate to Target.

Today nh took the boys shopping for gifts for his cousins. His oldest cousin, cj, is a kid he idolizes. He really loves him and cj has been kind, gentle and patient with him. I really love that about cj. So when it came time to buy cj a present dg5 wanted to buy him the biggest one there was. It was outside our budgeted money and nh carefully explained it to dg5. Dg5 thought for a minute and offered to make up the difference with his gift card.

It was the first sign of selflessness I've seen in him lately and quite frankly it warms the cockles of my heart.

If it's yellow let it mellow

We have a toilet in the master bathroom. On the other side of the wall from the toilet, right up against the wall, are the boys bunkbeds. At night we don't flush our pee pees because the flushing wakes the boys up and they invariably end up in our room.

As a result, and with a certain indignation dg5 said one morning after finishing using our toilet: "Why am I the only one who flushes the toilet around this place???!!!! Mom never does it!"

I love it when he does indignation.

Bad Breath is a real turn off, no matter who you are.

During a ward Christmas party the boys spoke with Santa in his sleigh, but I was not surprised when last night at the mall they wanted to speak with him again. We waited in line for awhile and finally the boys got to sit and speak with Santa. It was uneventful and we went on with our shopping.

As we left we passed by the play area. The boys love, love, love the play area, but as it was late I answered their pleas for playtime with, "I'm sorry boys, but you wanted to see Santa and now there is no time because it's late and you have to get to bed." Dg5 then said, "I didn't want to see Santa anyway 'cause we already saw him and besides his breath stinks."

What are you gonna do?

Hope

These can be dark times. It is easy to feel lost and empty. I don't know that I can ease anyone else's pain. I don't know how. But I don't believe we're in this alone. We have God whom we too often forget and we have each other because that gift God gives us too.

I hope for my friends, I love them very much. I hope God blesses them with whatever they need to have happiness again. I hope I have the strength when my time comes to be strong, to remember the great gifts and blessings I have in my life and to remember that God loves me very much, that he wants me to be happy and to have peace. I hope I remember those few true things and I hope I hope it enough that the sense of peace I feel never leaves me.

Tragedy Pt. 3

A friend of mine, call him Big Red, is a ritual drunk, paranoid schizophrenic. I get calls from him periodically in which he expresses gratitude and we talk about his recovery, about how he's doing. His recovery periods only last a day, or two. He expresses great interest in Baptism, in turning his life around, in going to college.

At the end of the day he doesn't use his medications properly. He gets paranoid and barricades his door with all of the furniture in his living room and dining room. When the panic leaves him enough he ignores the cartoons he sees long enough to get to Fry's, buy booze and get blind drunk. He vomits in his bed and lies in it. He urinates in his bed and he lies in it. He disappears for weeks. He falls into walls face first as he passes out and wakes up bleeding. (His wore fresh wounds when I first met him.) He makes no phone calls, he takes none.

Tragedy Pt. 2

A woman I worked with for years had to retire because of a genetic defect that's causing her to go blind. She's never married, nor had a single relationship since I've known her. Her mother is overbearing, controlling, and mean and my friend has lived with her, maybe all her life I really don't know.

I do know she's never, never forgotten my birthday. Nor has she forgotten the birthday's of my sons or my daughter or my wife. She never forgets to remember anyone as far as I know. She calls and offers articles that may be of interest, she inquries about the health of so and so.

Now my friend is breaking down. She just spent a few weeks in a mental hospital because she's feeling suicidal and depressed. She sleeps from 8pm to 2am and then can't anymore; she's awake, alone and blind in the middle of the night. She doesn't eat and is down to 87 lbs. She doesn't trust her doctors and doesn't like the meds she's on. On top of that she has osteoporosis, has fallen and her back hurts her terribly. The doctor assures her there is nothing that can be done, her back isn't fractured. Yes he's sure he tells her 10 times before becoming really grumpy.

She refused all help until recently. Now, a very private woman, doesn't care who knows she was in the mental hospital. She is hurting very, very, very much. She doesn't know where she'll go, she doesn't know what she'll do. And thousands of people drive by her house everyday and never know it.

Tragedy Pt. 1

One year and two days ago some friends of our lost a son to drugs. Two days ago they lost a second son to drugs.

Poop

There are a 3 and 5 year old in the house. As a consequence poop is a regular part of our conversations.

Wg3 is officially potty trained, meaning he knows when he has to go and he goes. His recent trend is to hold his poo until just before bed and then screw around for 45 minutes getting the deed done. Even as I write this innumerable questions are passing from his lips.
"Why is my poop green Mom?"
"Because I made you green apple sauce today for lunch."
"So what we eat comes out in our poop?"
"Yes, honey."
"When's it gonna stop being green?" etc.....
So the potty training is a blessing, but has given way to an unsavory bedtime routine.

As for dg5, poop is a word currently used in every aimless sentence. When he talks with a purpose, it's all good, but when he's goofing it's poop this and poop that. Oy vey! I asked him why he's always talking about poop and he said, "Because it's funny." What are you going to do?

Candy makes you shrink

A friend of ours once told dg2 or 3 that the grapes he didn't want were growing grapes. That was enticement enough for him and he ate his grapes. Afterwards she measured him and assured him that he had grown.

We picked up on it and very often use the phrase, "You have to eat your growing food or you'll shrink!"

Today wg3 stated flatly, "I want candy."
I replied, "No."
"But I want it," he whined! The whine is an admission that the "no" will stick I think.
"No, you'll shrink!"
"But I don't want to get taller!" Again with a whine.
"Why not?"
"Because I'll hit my head on the ceiling!"
"I don't think you have to worry about that wg3."

It was a fun day despite the lack of candy. We went outside and kicked the ball around. wg3 threw his ball over the wall. We retrieved it once. He threw it over again. As I went to lower wg3 over the wall the dogs came out. wg3 sat on the wall with his feet hanging over. I'll be darned if the big one didn't jump up and just nip the end of his toe. Grrrr. I'd like to make a hot dog out of the little rat. Fortunately, it was only a flesh wound. And not a Black Knight style either. Wg3 didn't even cry, but there was a little blood.

We went in then and put a puzzle together and read the nutcracker. Then because nh was out at a meeting for her calling I made dinner. "What do you want," cries I?! "Rice Krispies," cries they! So milk and cereal it was for dinner while we watched part of Home Alone. Before the movie even started the question began, "Is that the bad guy?" X 1000. I was so happy when the bad guys showed up and I could say, "There they are. That's them. There are no others. There are no other bad guys. It's just them, please don't ask anymore."

Our Resident Grinch

wg3 has begun to explain his bad behavior this way: "But I'm a Grinch." He then puts claws up where fingers once were and makes a grinchish face. "Even Grinches go in time out pal," I say.
We never should have let him watch The Grinch that Stole Christmas, it's had too profound an effect, and the wrong one, for my taste. But it is cute. wg3 is a sweet boy, even when he's grinchish.

A good kind of nuts

As I make a few entries here I've anesthetized the boys with Charlie Brown's Christmas - a classic, to me anyway. Dg5 wanders upstairs presumably bored.

"I want to spend time with you Dad."
*Awww* "Well right now I want to get in a few journal entries in my blog."
He climbs up in the chair between me and the keyboard and starts goofing around. I politely tell him he can do something else up here with me, but I want to finish this first. He obediently descends and begins to prance and dance around the room.
"I have an idea," he chants.
"What's that?"
"You put on music and I'll dance and you chase me." It's a thing we do.
"I have an idea," I retort. "You sit down and do a quiet activity with me while I finish."
"You don't love me," he says.
"Hah! I say. I'm not falling for that you little monkey," and I catch him, pull him tight and kiss him. "Nice try," I say.

Off in the distance we hear, "Wg3, do you want to help Mommy fix the table?" Immediately dg5 says, "I'll just go downstairs for awhile." I pursue because I know what he's thinking.

He's thinking he can get in on some of that Mommy time and rob wg3 of it at the same time. I hate to say it, but he's a devious monkey sometimes. I catch him readily and we wrestle on the bed. He escapes once and I give chase, catch him and toss him back on the bed. After a few minutes we look up and there are nh and wg3 watching us. I guess we were too loud. Anyway, they leave as quickly as they've come. It was a little weird and eventually dg5 went downstairs and here am I, doing what I wanted to do anyway.

A tree

This Christmas we've contemplated going on vacation. Everyone is in except dg5.

We decided that if we go on vacation we wouldn't buy a tree.
"Is Uncle jg going to have a tree," dg5 says.
"I don't know."
"Then I don't want to go."
wg3 says, "I want to go. I want to go."
dg5, "Well I don't want to go."

We always ask what traditions do you have? and you? and you? like there is a tradition contest. dg5 points out that having a tree is tradition and that it's one that is important to him. After all he says, "How will Santa know where to put the gifts? How will he know we're not home? I want to decorate the tree."

After a call to Uncle jg he is reassured that there will indeed be a tree. But for me and I think it will be true for him too, it won't be our tree and I'll miss not having one of our own. Any decorations we are able to contribute, if any, will just seem like add-ons to someone else's tree. And that is what it will be.

I guess what I'm saying is there is something important about the tradition of a tree. Something dg5 likes. Something I like too. We'll still have fun I'm sure, but next year we'll stay home, and have tree of our own if I can help it.

Natural Divides

We recently had our family picture taken. Last Christmas Maw Maw and Paw Paw paid for a session with Aunt C so we trekked to Mt. Lemmon for the shoot. When we got the proofs and looked at them for awhile nh pointed something out about one of the family pictures.

See, in the picture we decided to buy, km17 is alone in the foreground, highest on the hill, followed a little further down by dg5 and I, followed a little further down still by nh and wg3.

nh said, "I think that's how it really is."
"What do you mean," I said?
"Well," she said, "wg3 and I hang out, whenever you go somewhere you take dg5 and km17 never hangs out with us at all, like in the picture."

Hmmmm. I have to spend more time with wg3 because quite frankly I think she's right.

When you wish

Saturday Night nephews zm4 and tl2 spent the night. They played well with the boys.

Sunday morning nh took them home. On the way home z said, "When you guys were looking for a house I wished you would buy a house close to mine, but my wish didn't come true." What a sweet boy.

wg3 says

wg3 calls the cresent moon the sharp moon.

Tonight we went to Peter Piper Pizza for Family Home Evening. When dg5 was younger he used to call it Peter Pie-za Peepa. Interestingly enough wg3 now calls it Peter Pie-za Peepa. Hmmm. What does it all mean?

Night & Delerium

Near the end of last night's leg I stopped for gas. Wg3 woke up and said, "Excuse me. Excuse me." "Yes, wg3." "Did you wake my bwain up?" "No we didn't. Go back to sleep buddy."

When we arrived at the hotel I went to check in. While I was away dg5 began to laugh in the back seat. Nh looked to see what was so funny, but he was fast asleep. Thank God for sweet dreams.

Just look at the proof!

This morning one of the kids walked by another one of the kids. As child one walked by without any contact with child two, child two dropped a toy turtle.
"He made me drop my turtle!"
"No he didn't."
Holding up both hands; ten fingers outstretched and absent a toy turtle he replied, "Yes he did, see!"
Kids.

You Asked!

This morning FatheredFive asked dg5 if there is anything special he'd like on the last day of his visit. To which dg5 replied, "Yes, brownies," followed by a large smile. Fathered replied, "I was thinking oatmeal or cold cereal."

Thanksgiving, DG5 and being humble

Yesterday for dinner we went to FatheredFive's Sister's house. The house was full of people and not being related I was initially a little uncomfortable. Heck I was a little uncomfortable the whole time really, but everyone including his sister Karen were very welcoming and I had great fun too. It was just hard for me to not feel a little like an intruder despite the kindness of my hosts, which was most excellent. Anyway, blah, blah, blah insecurity this, self-loathing that.

Dg5 seemed to do well, until he had a plate of food. We sat him down and he wanted to move to a table with older kids. I happily accommodated him. I then left to get him a drink and returned to "an incident." For whatever reason he was scared. I didn't understand. I tried to comfort him, but to no avail and after a short while I did exactly the wrong thing.

"If you don't stop crying I'll..." fill in the blank. Very nice, intimidate the kid who doesn't understand why he scared himself. I then moved him to the front porch and let his mother take over. I wasn't the right guy for him right then. His mother moved him to the car where he ate happily and in peace.

I ate and traded off with nh so she could eat. "I'm very disappointed in your behavior," I continued and all the while in my head I'm hearing, "Shut up." and "Leave him be." Which I quickly did. He responded by looking pretty upset for a minute and then very sweetly saying, "Dad, I'm gonna eat and then I'm going right back in there" which he did.

Last night when we got home I felt ashamed and apologized to dg5. He immediately forgave me with a hug and a kiss. We should all be so forgiving.

It is tough to suppress my imperfections sometimes and put others first. I wasn't a rage-aholic, but I clearly behaved incorrectly. I certainly didn't give him what he needed and at the end of the day his needs supersede mine, he's only five.

It is one thing to love someone and another to live with them, small or large. Living with them requires very often that we put the other person first in what may be very difficult circumstances for us. It isn't just civility, we have to dig deep and act in ways that show we love them under whatever circumstances.

I have 18 years of practice and have gotten better, but I don't think it's a process that ever stops. I think when we think we've arrived we're pretty far from where we need to be.

Family Photog pt. 2

Dg5 is a picture taking wild man. He seems less interested in participating than he does in snapping a picture sometimes. This seemed weird to me, until I realized I was doing the same thing at the outdoor venues. Hmmmm. What does it all mean?

The Joker

Cool Daddy DG5 has a great sense of humor as you may guess from the dress up. He asked me if the Joker was a boy or a girl. I said, "A boy." He said, "Why does he have make-up on then?" I wanted to say because he's a demented freak, but instead said, "Because he's a clown and clowns wear make-up." DG5's photo of the Joker.

It's cool here and the boys love it outside

We've had a good vacation here. Tomorrow the Temple at Bountiful and then home. To the Fives, 'preciate ya.

MY Prophet

I came into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints on December 31, 1995. President Gordon Bitner Hinckley was set apart as the 15th President of that same church on March 12, 1995. He was the first Prophet I'd ever known and I came to love and appreciate him and his counsels. I considered him MY Prophet. Below is what might be my favorite quote by him though it is tough to say for I have many.

“Woman is God’s supreme creation. Only after the earth had been formed, after the day had been separated from the night, after the waters had been divided from the land, after vegetation and animal life had been created, and after man had been placed on the earth, was woman created; and only then was the work pronounced complete and good.

“Of all the creations of the Almighty, there is none more beautiful, none more inspiring than a lovely daughter of God who walks in virtue with an understanding of why she should do so, who honors and respects her body as a thing sacred and divine, who cultivates her mind and constantly enlarges the horizon of her understanding, who nurtures her spirit with everlasting truth.”

“God will hold us accountable if we neglect His daughters.”

A letter to my children

As I consider the old story of the war in heaven there is a thought that comes to me, it isn't my thought originally, but it is a right thought I think.

There was a plan in heaven, whereby Man would be free to act. Because Man would inevitably sin or act contrarily to God's wishes they would be imperfect. To redeem Man from his imperfections and allow them, with a body and the experiences of mortality, to return to the presence of a perfect God, a Savior was needed. The Savior would atone for the sins of Man and provide a way whereby Man, if they were faithful, would return and continue to progress and grow in the presence of a loving Heavenly Father. Jesus Christ was that Savior.

Lucifer offered up an alternative plan whereby, through compulsion Man would comply to the commandments and return to God. Deprived of moral agency under Lucifer's plan we would not grow, nor gain the experience necessary to progress with bodies. We would not learn.

In Lucifer's plan we would be acted upon, compelled like slaves to obedience. This is not Heavenly Father's way and Lucifer, embarrassed and humiliated at the rejection of his plan sought to usurp the highest throne. It didn't end well for him, that lost son, Perdition.

It is therefore fundamental that we act, consciously, deliberately, rightly. It is divinely appointed that we should do so. To passively allow our lives to unfold is to squander the great gift of freedom and to deny ourselves happiness and peace. Even as the hardest events of life come our way and we are inevitably acted upon, we can choose our response.

So to you my children, act with all good speed to every good end, seek wise counsel as every one needs it and enjoy the blessings of peace and happiness that are yours by right as children of God. I love each of you very much. I am grateful for each of you.

Irony

Today I yelled at wg3 from across the house, "Be quiet!"

wg3 just needed me today for awhile

Today, wg3 took a nap. After awhile I attempted the same and as I lay down the bed squeaked pretty loudly. wg3 woke up and came over. He'd had an accident so I changed him and he, being not fully awake, cried weakly and softly. After he was dry he crawled into bed with me and didn't sleep. I was whooped and needed a nap, but alas he would not leave. I tried, "You can go outside with the other kids and play" and "Mommy's in the living room so you don't have to be afraid" and when he asked if the "scary Halloween movie" (The Nightmare Before Christmas - which they are not allowed to watch )was on I reassured him that it was not. And yet he wouldn't leave the bed. He even went so far as to lie and say he was still tired to be able to stay with me.

I don't know it was weird. For some reason he just needed me then. So we lay together for awhile, me trying to sleep and failing and wg3 pretending he was tired and failing. It is nice to be needed.

I eventually got my butt up, having got no rest and helped him integrate into the busy household which he did quickly. I don't know, maybe being in a different place just means he needs a little more reassurance.

In truth I did let him down today. There was a play group of 3 year olds about 5 houses away. Maya goes and wg3 said he wanted to go, but only if I checked on him. I said I would, but it was only an hour and I went off after a half hour or so and played racquetball. When I met up with him again he reminded me I hadn't kept my promise. I apologized profusely and agreed that I had failed in my responsibility, but he admitted that he'd had fun and I agreed to abide more strictly by my word in the future. Who knows how much of it he gets, but it was important to him and I believe in treating my little ones with much love and respect. I sure am grateful for the little fellas.

Easy to please

Dg5 naps and as a result sometimes doesn't fall asleep quickly at bedtime. He doesn't need a nap every day, but after a few days it catches up with him and he gets very sensitive, and sometimes very weepy. Tonight we put he and his brother to bed (still at our friends house) late. After a while I went in to check on them, wg3 dead asleep and dg5 wide awake. I asked if he'd like to come out to the living room and read a little to which he replied, "Your the bestest Dad ever" followed by a huge hug and kiss. Let's face it, lying in bed with no recourse must be torture and anyone with a reprieve is likely to be a hero. Still, the hug and kiss felt great.

The family Photog

dg5 is a camera hog. He loves it and he uses the camera we have pretty well. To give you a little perspective, today they went to the Dino Park and dg5 took over 270 of the 290 pictures taken at the Dino Park. Yes, 270. I think he'd photodocument his entire existence if he could. Here are a few, from the little artisan.

Chores

Two of five and I were given the task to gather firewood for tonight's s'more fire. It is cool outside. I think it will be very cold tonight. We filled the back of the Jeep. I'm excited about the whole deal.

It's not a small house, but it's packed.

Generally, 7 people live in this house. It's FatheredFive's house. Our 4 make 11. As I sit, one child is climbing on the banister. There is always one on the banister. One has a ball, it's his ball, no one else can have it or there is screaming. This one is mine. One is on the computer. The Five children are limited to an hour a day, two of five is working through his hour. One is eating a huge bowl of yogurt and one of mine watches. One is hanging on the dog and then down the hall one is practicing the violin.

I commented how small the violin looks. She assures me it is a full size violin. It looks tiny to me. I ask for a lesson before we go. I love to listen to the violin. Last night I heard the violin in some music that was playing. It was beautiful. I love the violin I say. That's the cello Captain Obvious states. Whatever. Isn't a cello just a big violin anyway. Maybe a cello is the size a violin should be.

Fathered is downstairs working, mothered is preparing a frozen lasagna for dinner and nh is idle, relaxing in a lazy boy chair after a busy day at the Dino Park. It is busy here, frenetic. It is good to be with friends. I'm looking forward to the lasagna.

Meet Captain Obvious

Quote of the Day: "It takes a certain amount of athleticism to do athletic things."

Tonight - Reptiles and Smores for Family Home Evening

Tonight we travel to Fathered's Mom's. His brother Owen has beau coup reptiles in the basement. In his words he loves to be surrounded by life. His collection is pretty cool. We promised dg5 he could see them. Then, a fire in the back yard and yes, S'mores. If all goes well we'll paint our faces and dance around the fire ring screaming like injuns. That's just if it goes well. (pics to follow)

"Round is a shape"

I've always hated that quote. Many a true thing are said in jest and all. I'm at a hulking 237 and today I re-entered the racquetball arena. I played well, but differently. I'm no longer a warrior, now I play more like a chief. I placed the ball well, and engaged the enemy as little as possible. When I did engage I realized it was a bad idea and immediately recommitted to let the ball come to me.

Racquetball is a game of patience, not power. You can't tell a young man that. I never could learn it. It has apparently taken a high heart rate on a short effort and tentative knees to teach me. It was great fun. I love the competition.

Wg3 is a lefty. I thought of that on the court today as I served to my friend's non-dominant hand. I hope one day he, dg5 and I will play cutthroat racquetball. I wonder what it will be like against a lefty. If he is as full-throttle then as he is now it should be great fun.

On the drive

wg3 got to choose a special treat for the long drive. wg3 chose Strawberry Whoppers. On the trip he asked for the crunchy balls which we eventually figured was the whoppers. At some point he began to refer to them as whippersnappers. Who can keep up with all of that name changing? It's one thing to get the name wrong, but to still get it wrong and change it from last time??? Aren't there parent child laws against that kind of behavior.

Sunday Morning - The Park

The boys love the dog, Lilly. We're considering buying a dog. They would love one.

The gang's all here, playing in the water and happy to be outdoors ----wg3 with rushes from the stream


Beautiful Maya----------------------------------------- The family at the park

We went to Freedom Hills park this morning with most of our friend's clan. It was beautiful. The boys loved it, we loved it. Fresh air, grass, exercise. I even tried out a skateboard on a short shallow bit of blacktop. I didn't fall; a miracle.

Stage 2- a 4 hr drive, a 10 hr trip

DG5 working with a fossil - Paleontologist in training

Using paintbrushes to carefully uncover the bones of a Utah Raptor

Dino puppets for the kids to pretend. Are they kissing or eating Mommy?

Apparently they used to grow their fish bigger. I think it's Global Warming.

We got some sleep in Beaver, UT, some breakfast and travelled north for a few hours. We arrived at what is purported to be the largest dinosaur museum in the world. The boys loved it; running from one place to another for 4 hrs. We watched a dinosaur movie that nh and wg3 fell asleep through. It was a 3D IMAX movie and dg5 and I enjoyed it. Dg5 insisted that we take pictures of everything. I'm not kidding, I had to ask him to relax. He really wanted pictures of every single object in the museum. After what felt like a long time we left and finished our journey North to Farmington, UT. We have friends here. It is good to see them.

DG5 demonstrates a moment of inspiration @ the Dino Museum

Stage 1 - 10 hrs in

We made 10 of the 14 hours yesterday. It was tough, I went too far. We're clean this morning, fed and clothed. It's 3 hours to the largest Dinosaur museum in the world and then an hour to friends for the week. The boys are excited for the dinosaurs. It's wicked cold for us desert rats.

We are planning to hit the Temple this week. I believe it will be a good week.

wg3 - a list

Likes
Dogs
Cottage cheese- straight from the container
Sponge Bob- he sings the song...& Tom and Jerry
Playing with His Brother
Music- he keeps asking us to play I Can Only Imagine by MercyMe
Dancing- which turns into fighting...he loves anything with a beat
Sugar - all forms (suckers)
Very early mornings

Dislikes
Not bagels, no matter what
No oatmeal
Hates loud noises, though he's doing better

He's a lefty. He's irreverant. He's bold until faced with the real thing. He'll tell you all day long what he'll do to monsters, but he won't go downstairs in broad daylight by himself. He's three after all, I guess he's allowed some contradictions.

A syllogism

People have beliefs.
People act.
All people act according to their beliefs.

The other day a man said something that was a new thought for me regarding Christ. He said-ish, "Some people are inactive in the church and some people are active and still others consecrate themselves to God."

It never occurred to me to think that my actions may be only those of an active man. I have not always fulfilled my duties and yet I have been blessed. However, I believe the greatest blessings are outstanding and they are predicated on my faithfulness, on a change of heart. And I believe they are not my blessings alone, but blessings for my family hang in the balance as well. It is my job to strengthen them. I love my family very much and am grateful for the time I have been given.

I consider the bar raised. I will reach higher.

My Father-in-Law

Quite frankly I think my Father-in-Law can be hilarious. It wasn't always that way. Maybe it was me, I don't know, but the first 8 or so years we were married I felt a little like I wasn't in yet, part of the family.

I remember the time when that changed, though I don't remember exactly when it was. I sat down and he just started talking to me, shooting the breeze if you will. It felt different. Now it's like I've been part of the family forever when we're together, which I appreciate because I really do think he's funny.

Dreaming

I don't dream much, or don't remember when I do. I've had several lately though.

I give a good deal of thought to my dreams because I've often had a profound sense of de ja vu, as if I dreamed a thing that happened.

This week I dreamt of a guy I work with, a good soul. We were outside a roadhouse and he had a boat trailer parked in the spot closest to the entrance. The boat trailer had a personalized license plate on it spelling out his last name. I saw him go up the steps to the entrance and called out to him. He said something surly and went in. I don't remember more.

My second dream was violent. I mean violent. I abhor violence, the more graphic the worse it is. I don't find it funny or entertaining, take that Quentin Tarantino! I'm not perfect, I resort to violence occasionally in aberrant thoughts, but in my heart I realize it isn't healthy or productive.

I also dreamt I was in heaven. I did not wake up afraid. I didn't feel content either. The only word that comes to mind is fat, like bloated, a feeling of pressure from the inside out, almost like a balloon, except in a feeling. Upon further reflection my previous bouts of de ja vu and the dream together produced some anxiety in me. I don't want to leave my wife and kids. I believe I may yet have something to offer them and they are a great joy to me. As I pondered the dream I felt like maybe God had other work for me to do. It is an interesting feeling. In the end I trust that God knows best and I am still here so until that changes it's steady as she goes.

Laryngitis

My little sister lost her voice this week. As a result she speaks only in whispers. Now her two little ones are speaking in whispers also. I've got to try that.

I spy with my little eye...

On the long drive to Grandma and Grandpa H's we often play 'I Spy' with the boys to prevent anarchy. Dg5 gets it. I spy something "green" or "red" and then we guess until we get it. Wg3 however does not get it.

When it is wg3's turn he invariably says, "I spy with my little eye, um, a green tree."
"Is it a green tree," we ask?
"Yep!"

There are variants of course. "I spy with my little eye, um, a blue sky" or "a red stoplight." He just doesn't get that we're supposed to be guessing the thing he's telling us. Cute little fella.

I feel sorry for him when he's guessing though. He has a hard time getting in a word edgewise and he will get frustrated quickly. When he does guess he repeats most of what's already been said so sometimes I'll do something hard and take him by the hand so he can guess. He so much wants to be part of everything we do. What a sweet boy.

Per your requests- The house in pictures